This is an article written by Stefano from MindCheats.net, I'll leave it up to him .
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The first thing I thought after I finished reading "Instant Attraction" was: wow, these techniques really work well! The manual is practical and with just enough theory, fulfilling all the promises.
Pleasure and pain
That being said, it's easy to fall into the mistake of believing that a high-level manual is enough to win over women galore. Far from it: statistics show that 90% of good intentions are abandoned after a month, even if the chances of success are concrete.
This doesn't mean that I want to break your spirit, by all means! I want you to understand how much the saying "between the saying and the doing there is the sea" is current, and help you to overcome the obstacle with agility.
In other words you could buy the ebook, read it, and continue the life of before. Why?
Because for many people simply reading it doesn't make them click the spark of action. What it means? Before taking any action, the brain carefully evaluates two components: the pleasure and the pain. In every situation, the mind makes a decision to maximize the pleasure and minimize the immediate pain.
The key word here is immediate: it is not difficult to understand that starting now to put into practice the techniques explained in the ebook will have a very interesting return in the months to come, but the mind does not conceive this. A pleasure projected into the future counts for very little in the mental balance sheet.
And therein lies the reason for the failure of resolutions, which in exchange for a small initial sacrifice ensure a much greater long-term benefit. In these situations, the pain associated with the sacrifice is greater than the pleasure associated with the benefit future.
The reasoning also works in reverse: a small immediate pleasure is more important than a large future pain. Just think of those who overdo it with food and especially with fast food, only to find themselves with serious health problems in ten years.
In this case, the pain is represented by the barrier of the shyness when you want to hit on a beautiful woman. Pleasure, on the other hand, is the feeling you would get if you managed to conquer her. As you can see, in this case pleasure is even less actual: not only is it in the future, but it is not even certain!
And this is where your mind starts to justify itself, trying to rationalize the insecurities to make you believe that there is an objective reason to block you:
- This girl is not that nice, and it seems even unpleasant;
- It seemed to me that speaking with another man, so she will already be engaged;
- Today I am tired, I'll try that tomorrow;
- She didn't reciprocate my smile, so I have no hope;
- I couldn't do it never however;
- ..
These are just a few of the most common fake reasons your brain creates for itself to justify failure. If you realize you've already done it yourself, then it's time to get moving! No one is born learned, remember this. 😉
If you recognize yourself in this situation, then the following article is for you.
I'll tell you how to break down the psychological barriers that are sabotaging you without you even realizing it, and get the right spark going. Believe me, the hardest part is getting started: once you get into a good habit, the rest is all downhill!
I myself have realized this many times, one case in point: after years and years of being overweight I changed my diet, now I live much better and I don't regret in the least the life I used to live.
Find the motivation you need
Well, we've identified the problem, now we just need to find the solution. The motivation you need is the one that allows you to reverse the balance, acting on the pleasure and pain associated with starting to court a girl. Leave the pain alone: not because it can't be reduced, but because doing so requires considerable effort. Much simpler is increase pleasure, and that's what I'm going to teach you in the next few lines.
Great, and how it is done? I explained to you in the previous chapter that the big problem with good intentions is that the benefits are postponed in time, they're not as current as the small sacrifices you're faced with. To find the motivation you will have to act on this point with a very simple technique: actualize the benefits.
What it means? You have to make your mind believe that the benefits are certain and immediate. Fortunately this is a very immediate technique, it takes only a few seconds to use and you can use it as many times as you want when you need a little more energy.
Ready? Via! First of all close your eyes and relax. Think of something that makes you feel good that is completely disconnected from seduction, like resting on the beach during the vacations. Well, with this mental image you have entered the right frame of mind to start the actual exercise.
Now keep your eyes closed, and imagine the situation in which your goal of conquest is crowned with success: reconstruct it as if it were a movie in your head. Spend as much time as you want in recreating the scene in detail, without stopping at sight: involve all your five senses in the mental reconstruction.
Now, always keeping your eyes closed, focus on the sensations you would experience in such a situation. What would be your mood, your thoughts, your expectations and yours desires realized. Think hard about how you would feel if your goal had just come true.
Immerse yourself in that person, the self you have imagined, and think about the past and how you felt before this change of yours: probably you will recall negative thoughts, you may escape a "at that time I still did not understand anything". Well, this is the situation in which you are now in!
Open your eyes again, the exercise is over. You already feel ready for action, I'm more than sure of it! In just a few seconds you've managed to motivate yourself through three different forces:
- You have actualized benefits, you have experienced them in the imaginary situation, and thanks to this your mind now sees those same sensations as close and for this reason much more important. In the balance between pleasure and pain, the first element has just shot up;
- You realize that you need a change, because in the imaginary situation you looked back and saw what situation you are in now. This is highly motivating for you and for your brain: you made them experience a positive feeling and then abruptly took it away, so the mind is highly focused on regaining the state of well-being in which it was immersed. The mind will interpret all this as a challenge to be won absolutely!
- You have made a latent pain, What you inflict on yourself every day you postpone the change. The brain has an enormous capacity of adaptation: no matter what situation you are in now, for your mind that is the normal and neutral situation (neither pleasure nor pain is associated to it). With this mental visualization exercise you have allowed your mind to realize how painful your current state is.
You can try this simple technique now to test it, but personally I found a flaw that limits its effectiveness: the motivation found in this way is only temporary. It must therefore be used as a flicker that gives you something extra, not as a solid base to radically change every aspect of your life.
In other words, use benefit discounting seconds before you start seducing. Given the ease and speed with which you are able to use the technique, you can also do it directly to the bar or disco.
All you need is a few seconds of concentration, and that's it! Immediately, your scales will start to tip towards pleasure, and you'll have no problem jumping into the adventure. And when you start talking, the worst obstacle has already been overcome.
Create and maintain a good habit
Very good, the first approach is gone! Let's imagine you have used the above technique to approach the first woman: it doesn't matter if it went well or not, the important thing is to create a routine that doesn't limit your action to something sporadic.
Especially if you've ended in failure (which can happen, but by this point you've already learned that even the greatest seducer on the planet can't score all the time), it's time to make courtship something natural.
In this way, within a short time you will no longer have to resort to the actualization of goals to give you the boost you need. You'll approach girls normally, without almost realizing it, and you'll get better and better at it.
To create a routine in the brain requires only 30 daysAfter this period of time the mind considers a behavior or a situation normal, and it doesn't struggle anymore to accept and promote it. In other words, if you make an effort to seduce beautiful women for a month, it will become for you natural (with all the benefits that come with it).
Here are three techniques that will come in very handy to achieve this:
- Make it a constant habit. In mathematics, a constant is a quantity that has a defined value and does not vary: establish in advance one day (or one evening) a week that you will always devote to courtship, and set yourself the goal of always doing it. If you use the actualization trick again, I'm sure you won't find it difficult;
- Always create new alternatives and opportunities. Okay, we've established which day of the week you're going to hit on women, but that doesn't mean you have to sit on your hands the rest of the time. Always be vigilant, be prepared to take every opportunity that comes your way. This way your brain will understand that seduction is important, and it will be more predisposed to overcome the fear associated with meeting new women;
- Break down your goals. A big monolithic goal doesn't appeal to the brain: too complicated to achieve. The problem is that it is seen very distant and abstract, thus going to decrease the pleasure associated with it. Motivate yourself by breaking down your goal, which is to seduce a woman, into several smaller and sequential goals: first greet her, then start an interesting discussion, then have a drink and so on. Completing all the steps one after the other will give you a strong charge!
Conclusion
In this article I have taught you how to take the first step, how to create and maintain a good habit: combining the techniques of this article with those of Marco, I'm sure you will succeed in your goal! I think strategies alone are only part of success.
The other half comes from the mental attitude toward the problem, which is what ultimately drives you to do or not do something to solve it.
With this post I wanted you to discover this very important part of any personal growth path: it can be learning how to seduce, of course, but you can apply the strategies outlined above to any area of your life.
You have another unresolved problem? Well, now you have one more chance to overcome it!
Okay, now I'm really done. If you liked what I've written and want to learn other strategies that can help you in your life, visit me on my blog: Mindcheats – Tricks to harness your mind. 😉
Good seduction to all!
Stefano