Non-verbal expressions of love are most commonly relegated to physical expressions of affection. These could be subtle, like touching your partner's back, or always trying to be physically close, or perhaps overt, like constantly holding your partner's hand or hugging and touching on an almost constant basis. Physical affection is often a key aspect of a loving relationship and can help partners stay close by increasing intimacy.
One of the simplest nonverbal expressions of love is a simple smile; smiling at your partner is a kind and quiet way to show love and care, as a smile can go a long way in expressing approval and affection. Parents are often caught smiling at their children's antics, friends are very often seen smiling and laughing together, and partners are often seen simply smiling at each other. Smiling is an important part of showing love nonverbally.
Verbal expressions of love
The most obvious verbal expression of love is to simply say, "I love you.". Far from being the only means of verbally expressing love, however, "I love you" sometimes fails to encompass the breadth of your feelings for someone. To verbally express your love, you could include your partner in the plans you are making for the future, demonstrating your hope that the two of you will be together for the long term. You can also welcome your partner into family conversations about favorite traditions and practices, suggesting that the two of you will be together for a long time.
Telling your partner all of their positive attributes can also demonstrate your love, as it shows your partner exactly what you love about them. You can mention your partner's skills and habits or focus entirely on character issues; whichever you choose, be sure to highlight the traits, characteristics and behaviors that bring a smile to your face and warmth to your chest.
Bragging about your loved one is another way to show love verbally. Talking about your loved one's accomplishments, goals, or abilities not only shows your partner how much you care about them, but also indicates to others that you feel proud of your bond and that you are on the same side. You can do this directly when introducing your partner to friends, family or colleagues, or you can do it on social media, drawing attention to your partner's accomplishments after a particularly difficult task is completed or a milestone is reached.
Creative love expressions
If simple acts and phrases aren't quite your style, there are numerous creative ways to demonstrate and express your love for someone. Creating a gift for a loved one can communicate love and devotion, especially if the item in question is something special and unique between the two of you. Perhaps one of the most classic methods of expressing love creatively is through the creation of poems for your loved one; poets have been creating ballads and simple verses for their loved ones for hundreds of years, and the practice is unlikely to go anywhere soon.
In a similar vein, you can use music and lyrics to express your love for someone. Creating a powerful melody to highlight your partner's beauty is one way to use music to express love. You can also create lyrics for your loved one or a combination of the two. Videos are another similar method of expressing love for someone, as you can create a visible representation of your feelings for someone else.
Other creative ways to express love can include planting a tree or flowers; planting something in honor of the two of you can demonstrate your desire for your bond to stand the test of time, just as you hope your plant will thrive and grow.
Exploring Love Languages
Exploring your and your partner's love language is another way to show love in new and fresh ways. Love language tests can help you determine which forms of expression you prefer and make you feel most loved. The five love languages include physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, and quality time. Each of these represents a unique way of giving and receiving love, and it is common for two people with very different preferences on how to give and receive love to enter into a relationship. This may initially cause some friction within the relationship, as one or both partners may not feel adequately loved and viewed.
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Discovering another's love language can help you understand how to best express love for your partner and help you communicate how you will feel best loved. People who prefer physical touch may enjoy a lot of physical affection and intimacy from their partner. People for whom acts of service are the best way to feel and show love may hope that their partner will fill up their car from time to time or take care of an important task without being asked to do so. People for whom quality time is important may want to spend hours simply being together, without a specific agenda or plan in mind. For someone whose love language is receiving gifts, receiving small gifts on a regular basis is ideal. And for someone who works best with words of affirmation, a well-placed complement every day will speak volumes.
Love languages are not ways to determine who is low maintenance or who requires more from the other person to feel loved; instead, they are tools to help couples (and families) navigate the complexities of love, making sure everyone feels and experiences the kind of love they flourish in.
When expressing love is undesirable
In some cases, expressions of love should be kept to a minimum. In the case of unrequited love, endless expressions of love are unlikely to be well received and may even become a reason for deep discomfort or anxiety. If you express love, affection or attraction for someone and they don't reciprocate, it may be time to withdraw. Expressing love can also be undesirable in cases where one or both parties are unavailable. If someone is in a committed relationship or marriage, for example, expressions of love toward them are best withheld. If someone is significantly younger or older, expressing love should also be considered with extreme caution. Although love is a beautiful thing, some circumstances require one or both parties to exercise caution or restraint.
How to effectively express love
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Expressing love is a multi-faceted and varied thing, and each expression will depend on the relationship you have with your loved ones, the intimacy you share, and the depth of your love. Regular expressions of love encourage trust, intimacy, and safety within relationships, and create a wonderful sense of bonding and community among friends and romantic partners.
Expressing love will be different for everyone based on what you like and hope for and what your partner or other loved one wants and hopes for in your relationship. There is no one way to properly or effectively express love. Instead, expressing love is a constant ebb and flow, or give and take, in which you and the person you're communicating with express your love, affection, and commitment, and wait for the return of a similar feeling. Some periods may see fewer expressions of love, such as during times of great stress or transition, and others will see exaggerated expressions, such as in the first few weeks after moving in together or in the first few months of a new relationship. As you grow to learn more about your partner and yourself, your expressions of love will continue to grow and evolve.
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Therapy can be an effective way to learn how to strengthen your relationships, both romantic and professional and between friends and family members. A recent study indicates that couples who work with an online therapist (as opposed to a therapist in a traditional brick and mortar office) find the format conducive to sharing their feelings in a way that makes them feel less judged. Participants went on to say that video-based therapy allowed them to focus more intensely on the therapeutic process and offered a greater sense of control and comfort than traditional face-to-face therapy.
Serenis is committed to pairing individuals and couples with therapists they can trust. Serenis therapists are certified by their state's professional board and are highly experienced.