It's so great that you're in love! And now you're officially in a relationship. Not that you've already made it to the registry office after school – it's better not to rush into it. It's just that now you can both proudly say that you're not free. That's creepy sweet.
But after the blinding euphoria of falling in love begins to fade, you discover the strangest thing: Relationships aren't easy at all. And that's where most couples get into trouble.
The easiest way to solve them is to throw your hair back and proudly declare, "I'm too young and beautiful for all this stuff. "I don't want to decide anything. I'm gonna go find a new guy.". But if you do care about your boyfriend, we'll tell you how to keep love and ease in your relationship.
Warning♪ Our advice will only work if he works on himself ♪. Love is, after all, a team game.
See the good
This habit is not only useful in a relationship. Learning to see the good in people and the world around you will make you much happier and improve your quality of life. So it's worth a try.
How it works: You will fight, sulk, and sometimes even slightly hate each other. It's inevitable and perfectly normal. It's not okay to make a big deal out of it and blow a tiny conflict into a black hole. Instead of stirring up a quarrel by recalling all his faults, pay attention to how many good things are in your relationship. Another situation: before you text him angrily about how he's a jerk for not being able to go to another tearful movie with you because he has a tutor appointment, remember how he comforted you when you failed your English test?. And write about how much you love him and how great he is. He'll appreciate it, you'll see.
How not to: Turn a blind eye to all the bad stuff. Sometimes he really does turn out to be a jerk. And you'll spend a lot of time looking for the good that just isn't there. So find a balance. Seeing the good things doesn't mean wearing rose-colored glasses. It means not dwelling on the bad.
Listen
A super useful skill that will help you out more than once in the future.
How it works: We're not talking about when you're listening to a history lecture, sitting there staring at the professor with your mind so far away in the clouds. We're about the other listening, which is almost synonymous with the verb "understand.". When your boyfriend's telling you something, go into what he's saying. You don't have to keep shifting the conversation to yourself. He needs to speak up sometimes, too.
How not to: Just listen and do not react. Show him you understand him. Or, if not, ready to try to understand and accept. Or assume that he has to entertain you, and all you have to do is be all pretty and laugh every once in a while.
Give
How it works: For some unknown reason, we have a common perception that guys should give us gifts and flowers. ¶¶ We're all right ¶¶. Unless it's socks for February 23 and a chocolate bar for his birthday. In our opinion, this is very strange and has no basis or at least no logic. Give him little surprises: a paper crane with a heart on the inside of his wing, a chocolate when he's having a bad day, or just your love and joy.
How not to: Play one-way. If you keep giving him compliments like this and he forgets to wish you a happy birthday or excuses himself by saying "no money for a gift," think about whether he's even worth your time.
Learn something new every day
In addition to broadening your horizons and increasing your chances of getting into a good college, you become a cool girl.
How it works: Learning something new every day, you become more interesting (read "attractive") in his eyes. Because it's cool to talk to someone who can always surprise you with something.
How not to: ¶¶ If he's a dumb-ass jock, don't throw your beads at him ¶¶. ♪ He'll just say, "Ew, what are you, a nerd or something??"¶¶ And he'll offer to sit on the bench outside his doorway ¶¶. And you… Find yourself a normal guy with whom you can discuss an interesting book! 😉
♪ And the most important thing is to stay human ♪
Always and in any situation.
How it works: Don't think in stereotypes. "He's a boy, so he must be strong and not have to cry.". It's all bullshit. If he has a dead hamster, he'll be upset. And will have every right to do so. Drop the boy-girl opposition and see how much easier your relationship becomes.
How not to: Forgetting that you're a man-to-be. Just because we advise you to see him as a person, and not just a guy, does not mean that you have to treat him like a best friend. Let him show his masculinity. You just don't have to ask him to do the impossible.