There's a lot of debate and stigma surrounding teen love. Many adults brush off teenage relationships, believing they can't stand the test of time. However, this belief is not entirely valid. The average age of marriage has continued to increase compared to past generations, it does not prove that teenage love is not real or cannot last. However, it's not that simple either.
Some, not all, teenage love is real. Determining if this love will last depends solely on the individuals and if they are willing to develop the feeling of love into true love.
The difference between love and lust
The first relationships that teenagers usually experience are called puppy love or crushes. This goes hand in hand with lust. The attraction to the other person is purely physical. There is excitement and energy in the relationship. The feelings are on a surface level and don't go any deeper than that. It is a relationship that is based purely on feelings.
Lust is a normal response that people experience, including teenagers, but it is not love. Many teens and adults confuse the two. Lust is only based on physical attraction, while love is much deeper and involves caring for the other person. Relationship may begin because of lust, but true love goes beyond lust and physical attraction. It is not based on feelings, but on commitment and a decision.
It all depends on the mindset of the teen
There are two different ways to look at dating. In the first place, you may date someone because you want to find your life partner. When you have this mindset, you are careful about the people you choose to date because you are looking for someone specific. Secondly, you may be dating because you are just having fun and want to date someone. You're not necessarily trying to commit, and you may be dating several people at a time.
Your dating mentality will play an important role in determining whether your love is real and whether it can last. If you are simply trying to have fun, then you are likely to end the relationship when arguments and challenges naturally arise. You may have feelings of love, but not true love. However, if you are looking for your future partner, then you may be able to turn feelings of infatuation into feelings of love.
True love requires a certain level of maturity. It's easy to be attracted to someone. It is also easy to date someone and really like them. This can lead to feelings of love, but true love only comes when you are willing to stand the test of time, even when things get tough. When you're truly in love, you can't be overly demanding or jealous, nor can you run away whenever things get difficult. With a little work and a lot of love, however, you can build a relationship that lasts for a long time.
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Teenage love can last?
The answer is simple and complex at the same time. Teenage love can last – just ask all the high school sweethearts who are still married decades later. While it's true that every romantic relationship has its challenges, teenage love has some specific challenges that don't usually apply to adult relationships.
You need to get to know yourself
One of the biggest challenges in teen love is that most teens are still in the process of finding themselves. When you don't know who you are, it's difficult to form a healthy relationship. If teens are in a serious relationship while they are going through this discovery process, they may eventually realize that who they are is not compatible with their significant other. Or, if they're not willing to admit it, they may try to be someone they're not to please their partner. This will eventually lead to problems in the relationship.
For teen love to last, teens must have a high level of maturity at the beginning of the relationship, or they must be willing to discover themselves together. This means that they will support each other during this process. When both individuals are committed to growing within the relationship, they can discover their identities without needing to end the relationship. This journey will bring them closer together.
Change the circumstances
Adults are usually in a more stable place when they start a relationship. When teens start a relationship while in school, they will face a difficult time as graduation approaches. Teens in serious relationships will need to determine if they plan to end their relationship when they go to college. They may also choose to drop out of college, attend together, or make a series of joint or separate plans. Graduation is a time of great transition for any high school student. Adding a relationship to the mix can make it even more difficult. Many relationships end at this point because teens want to see what will happen in the next stage of life.
If it doesn't last
There are many different reasons why teen relationships don't last; in that sense, they are like any other relationship. Teen relationships can end because both people may realize that they are not interested in the same things, that they are going to college, or that they are not willing to stick it out when things get tough. Whatever the reason, it doesn't mean the relationship and feelings weren't real.
Breakups are difficult, and passionate teens often have a harder time dealing with them than adults do. Teens who end a relationship may experience extreme emotions. If you're experiencing overwhelming grief or other feelings after a breakup, talking to a professional therapist can help you.
For parents of teens
Don't dismiss teenage love. Your teen's feelings are as real as your own. If you reject them, you may reinforce your child's desire for the relationship. They will feel that you don't understand them and will create distance between the two of you.
As a parent, you want your child to feel free to talk to you about all areas of life, including love and relationships, so that you can provide guidance if needed. When you tell them it's "puppy love," that it's not real or that it won't last, you risk losing your ability to give advice. Your teen will stop coming to you with questions or sharing information with you.
That said, if you notice the signs of an unhealthy relationship, it's time to intervene. It's normal for teens to want to spend all their time with their boyfriend or girlfriend, but you should watch out for extreme jealousy, isolation, bruising, changes in behavior, a large age gap, and frequent arguments. These are signs that the relationship may not be healthy. It is difficult for people of any age to recognize when they are in an unhealthy relationship. As a parent, it is your responsibility to help your child if they are in this situation.
Advice for teens in love
Relationships are difficult. If you're simply dating "for fun," then it's probably not worth investing seriously in the relationship. However, if you're seriously interested in the other person and would like the relationship to last, there are a few things you should remember.
- Make sure the feelings are mutual before investing 100%. You can be serious about the relationship, but before you commit too much, make sure the other person feels the same way.
- Don't confuse sex with love. Love is more than physical attraction, and having sex is not a way to find love.
- Don't sacrifice all of your friendships for your relationship. When relationships are new, you tend to want to spend all of your time with the other person. Remember that it is important to have friends outside of your relationship as well. You should also continue to spend time with family and participate in activities you enjoy.
- Discuss the future together. You both feel the same way? What will happen after graduation?
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Conclusion
Teenage love is real. If you are a teenager in love, your relationship is important to you; and if you work at it, it has the same chance of lasting as any adult relationship. Teen relationships can have unique challenges, but with commitment and communication they can stand the test of time.