"I need ONE lady" could be a very robust thought, usually linked to that of "particular lady".
You meet a lady, you need her, you need her to dying and also you do every part to get her.
We’re programmed by nature to be forcibly motivated within the emotional, sexual and affective realm, and this motivation can drive us in a really very robust approach.
This very robust drive in the direction of a selected lady is, in itself, neither optimistic nor destructive.
It’s a drive, a really robust drive, and as such it may be exploited to the fullest or is it potential develop into a slave to it.
Let's see in sensible phrases.
"I desire a lady" and syndrome of "particular lady"
Right here's the situation: a person isn't very profitable with girls and all the time is aware of the identical girls.
Sooner or later this man fixates on one explicit girl, he tries and she or he pushes him away telling him she solely sees him as a good friend.
He's simply obsessed, he feels she's particular!
Speak to a few of her buddies concerning the matter, saying again and again "I desire a lady, I need her!", the good friend replies "There are many girls on the planet.", and he goes on "No, you don't perceive, she's particular!".
Come on! She is particular! Severely?
Among the many few girls he is aware of he has discovered that particular lady, what luck!!
Too dangerous it's the factor that occurs to Most males who discover themselves in comparable conditions.
They’ve a shortage of ladies they usually fixate, develop into obsessed, with a selected girl, and persuade themselves that she is the "particular lady".
So "I desire a lady" turns into an obsession, a fixation, what I name the "social lady syndrome".
Pushed by this obsession they fight for years with this girl ruining their lives, their temper is consistently topic to ups and downs relying on the indicators of her that when they’re optimistic they don’t seem to be indicators of curiosity however easy seek for consideration.
And so the years go by, in despair, within the phantasm of an empty hope.
There’s perseverance sure, however linked to an unattainable dream that makes you endure, then linked to a relentless submission to the "particular lady" on responsibility.
The treatment?
The treatment is to start out assembly new girls.
"I desire a lady" and perseverance with masculine vitality
What may be very totally different is the perseverance mixed with male vitality.
You strongly desire a girl, you hit on her with male vitality, seeing her as neither superior nor inferior to you, and being happy with what you need.
On this case, you don't see the lady you want as "the one particular lady" however you assume that you want her lots and that she is price a attempt, regardless that you could be requested to make extra effort than standard.
Sure, as a result of this lady could not match immediately, it could take time, however on this case the "I desire a lady" and the perseverance that comes with it’s now not a submission, however is synonymous with resolution, power, masculine vitality.
Typically then his "pull it" will solely be a take a look at, he needs to grasp how a lot you need it, and persevering will (maybe) have it.
Some folks ask me what’s the temporal boundary between perseverance with male vitality and perseverance with submission.
It's arduous to say, it varies from case to case, nevertheless it takes a again seat to a different issue: the how do you attempt.
In case you attempt with submission it is going to all the time be perseverance linked to particular lady syndrome.
In case you attempt with masculine vitality it is going to all the time be perseverance linked to what you need as a person, happy with your wishes, and nothing else.
Marco
(aka Reborn)
P.S. In case you maintain considering "I desire a girlfriend," however you even have particular lady syndrome, it's time to start out assembly new girls.