If you're feeling shy and insecure right now, and you want to change your life when it comes to women, chances are you want to solve this problem because you've realized that it can make you a radical change In your seductive skills.
Well.
But there is a problem… or rather two problems.
The first is given by the fact that human beings tend to stay in their "comfort zone". This is a mechanism that on a psychological level serves to make you survive.
In fact, when you do something completely new your brain sends you a signal: DANGER (even if the situation is not dangerous at all in reality).
The second is the fact that if today you are shy to change will be a process that will create stress and our brain (bastard :-)) tends to make us avoid this kind of feeling.
Now you may be thinking:
"Gio, but so how can I change and get all the women I want if it's my own brain rowing against me?"
Fortunately we humans are programmed to try to to avoid pain more than to seek pleasure.
I mean, simply put, you'll be more motivated to work your ass off to stop the do it yourself and say goodbye forever to all those unpleasant feelings you get when you are rejected by a woman, rather than the desire to get the women you really want.
Strange and counter intuitive but this is how we work.
How to eliminate shyness?
Let's see the road that leads from shyness to confidence formed by 13 steps.
1. Recognize you have a shyness problem
If you're shy you have a huge problem. I don't want to tell you that there is something wrong with you on a personal level but if you want to seduce a lot of women you can't be shy, so it's a problem that you have to accept and be determined to solve. Point.
2. Go step by step
If you're super shy today, you can't expect to be super confident tomorrow. So proceed step by step. Today trying to flaunt a confidence you don't really have will only lead to disastrous results for your self-esteem.
This means that:
3. Beat the shyness first (and then think about being confident)
Sounds logical true? Not so much. In the sense that many guys read here and there some technicality found on the internet and try to imitate it to parrot.
Let me tell you something: this is the most practical way to leave this world telling you:
"But this stuff doesn't work!"
Start little by little, step by step.
If you think you have a real insecurity problem start here.
4. Don't worry about being self-conscious
You will be clumsy and awkward as soon as you try to be more confident when until yesterday you were shy?
Sure :-). Each one of us as soon as he tries to install within himself a new skill is clumsy and awkward. This happens because you're trying to do something that is, to you completely new.
But it's a normal step you have in learning any new skill. Any!
The best example is a child starting to talk. At the beginning you will pronounce words in an almost incomprehensible way trying to make sounds, but slowly you will learn to pronounce them correctly.
5. Once you get past the shyness stage, start developing confidence in yourself
Ok you're past the shy phase and you're starting to get confident but that's not enough. This is the first step but if you want to be successful with women you have to become confident because women are looking for that.
If you want to find out how to become confident in yourself click here.
6. Don't worry about being awkward
Also here, as in point 4, at first you will not be able to congruently manage this new skill of yours right away, but slowly it will become a part of you.
7. Sure you've become confident in yourself?
Many guys when they start to be a little more confident and swaggering think they have reached the goal.
Wrong. I hate to break it to you… but we are still at the beginning.
In fact slowly, by increasing your self-esteem you begin to develop in a natural way some of the beliefs of a Real Man but… if you want to have real results you need a whole new belief system.
8. Start working on your identity
Start by creating a strong identity for yourself!
What it means?
When I talk to you about identity I talk to you about:
- Know who you are, what you want out of life and your role in the world
- Have your own passions
- Have your own tastes (ranging from music, sports, activities, etc.)
- Basically working on becoming a complete person in all aspects
9. Find out your negative beliefs
At this point you're bound to still have some negative beliefs that influence your actions and you need to eradicate them.
Finding them is very easy.
When you see a woman you like but you feel stuck on some level listen to exactly what your head is telling you. In fact we all have an internal dialogue that is like the rudder of our actions.
For example when you see a woman you like but there is something blocking you you might be thinking things like this:
"She's too beautiful for me".
"I'm not enough".
"If she doesn't look at me, I can't seduce her."
"Kissing a girl takes time."
etc, etc.
Start noticing that damn little voice in your head that's blocking you, noticing it is the first step to getting rid of it.
10. Do not listen to your negative beliefs
Once you start noticing your negative beliefs… start to don't listen to them.
Of course, you will still feel the "I can't cope with her, she's too much for me" Or things like that, but just start noticing them and… don't be a slave to them.
When you hear the negative voice inside you, don't get pissed off at her, don't tell yourself "Man!!! Beliefs are still there", simply act as if it were not there.
11. Work on all areas of your life
Identify the areas of your life where you need to improve your confidence.
Maybe it's in the work? Or when you're talking to a particular person? Or in sports?
When you work on one area, you improve your confidence in all the others, so don't leave areas where you are stuck, but work at 360 degrees, constantly going out of your comfort zone, that is, doing actions that make you feel uncomfortable but serve to improve yourself.
12. Stock up on condoms
This comments itself but believe me. If you have the perseverance to follow all the above points to the end so as to develop an unshakeable self-confidence, stock up on family-size condoms because you will need them ;-).
Gio