What’s the cause – the banal dangerous luck, or the unconscious need to decide on companions of a sure kind?? On why ladies are interested in dangerous guys, instructed sensible psychologist Nadezhda Kutuzova specifically for ELLE Lady.
What’s the attraction of the "dangerous" man?
He does what he desires, when he desires, bravely goes in opposition to the system, doesn’t hesitate to state his wants and get what he desires. His confidence and free spirit are contagious: with such a person you need to chase a motorbike down the freeway or rock out in a membership. Successful a nasty man's favor isn't straightforward, and the sensation of uncertainty doesn't depart you even while you get shut. In spite of everything, he doesn’t all the time take note of his chosen one, much more not often praises her and at any second can simply pack up and disappear.
This independence of a lady each bribes and makes her sad.
Why is he like that??
The reply: the lack to like. The issue is that "dangerous" guys are emotionally immature and undergo from quite a lot of unresolved psychological issues. Therefore this defiance of society, the bravado of "consumerism" in direction of the alternative intercourse and the need to make the world revolve round it. As a rule, such individuals are not able to a deep and honest feeling.
They’re susceptible, ready for recognition and affirmation of their very own significance. Merely put, are fixated on themselves.
Who and why falls in love with the dangerous guys?
A relationship with a "dangerous" man tells us that the lady is psychologically and emotionally damaged. The shortage of parental love, heat and involvement, just like the heroine of the film Bridget Jones, creates a stereotype that intimacy can’t be accessible – it should be earned.
And since that is the mannequin of relationship acquainted to the lady from childhood, she simply doesn’t know the best way to behave in another way with the one she selected. And recreates the state of affairs by struggling in attempting to get consideration.
Is it potential to get out of an addictive relationship??
It's not straightforward, however actual. The easiest way – see a psychologist who can assist you perceive the explanations for selecting a co-dependent relationship and construct a brand new mannequin, completely happy and harmonious. The second possibility – if a lady meets an attentive and understanding man who can attain out to her, and his habits and actions to persuade her you could get consideration for nothing, with out the bitterness of disappointment.
Obsession with dangerous guys doesn’t go away or disappear by itself. For those who understand that the connection is hurting and struggling, don't postpone fixing the issue till later. In spite of everything, if you happen to change your sample of habits, you’ll start to draw into your life very completely different males – caring, accountable and loving.