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Loving yourself is important. It helps us take care of our mind, body, and spirit. When we have self-love, it changes the way we respond to life and guides the decisions we make. Fortunately, self-love is an ever-evolving process. If you haven't found love for yourself yet or want to increase the love you already have, there are many things you can try.
Get to know yourself
It's almost impossible to love yourself without knowing who you are. The process of self-discovery can be long, arduous, or fun. It's different for everyone. People are always discovering new things about themselves. Our true nature emerges in all ways, including how we respond to challenges, how we experience our emotions, how we treat others, and how we practice self-respect.
There are endless ways to learn more about yourself. You can try to express yourself creatively through art or writing. You can use meditation or self-observation. An effective way to learn more about yourself is by working with a therapist. They are trained to help you see more than meets the eye, especially about your thinking and attitudes. Once you have a solid understanding of who you are, you can take the next step in developing a loving relationship with yourself.
Find what makes you unique (and why it matters)
Think about the people you care about most in life. Have qualities that make them unique, and some of those qualities you probably love. Maybe your partner has more books than time to read them. Maybe your mom calls every Saturday morning at 7 a.m. It's the little things about people that make them special. You have things that make you unique, too.
Spend some time finding what makes you different from everyone else. It can be a personality quirk, something you're passionate about, a certain way of thinking, or a physical characteristic. Think about why that thing is so important to you and how you couldn't be the same person you are without it. When you can come to love the things that set you apart, you can gain a greater appreciation for your whole self.
Listen for compliments
If looking inward is difficult, try listening to what others think of you. Be careful with this strategy though. People can be harsh, and we're more likely to hear the criticism others make about us before we hear their praise. There will always be someone who doesn't agree with you or the way you're doing something. Try to filter out these voices in favor of the more positive ones.
Maybe your whole life you've been told you're smart, creative, or adventurous. Maybe you've received compliments on your organizational skills or your ability to be able to start a conversation with anyone. Everyone has something they're good at, but they often don't notice these things. Finding the ways you stand out from others can help you see how important you are.
Spend time with your successes
In today's world, we're always on the move. Unfortunately, this means that a lot of really good things don't get the attention they deserve. For many people, these good things include their successes and achievements. A promotion at work results in a quick celebratory dinner. Even milestones like graduation get a quick nod and then it's back to work.
Take time to be aware of your successes. Spend time savoring the moment of victory. Sit with your pride and relief for as long as possible, noting down the feelings and thoughts you have. Train your brain to notice these feelings so you can absorb them when they occur in your daily life. The more you can identify the feeling of satisfaction, the easier it will be to love everything you do.
Make healthy choices
Loving yourself is not something that happens only in the mind or heart. We are not just floating thoughts or emotions. We have bodies that require care as well. While we may be able to neglect our mental or emotional health for some time, the body is much less willing to bend over.
Follow a healthy diet. Get adequate sleep. Exercise often. These are staples of good health and they are for good reason. Without the right nutrition, rest, and activity levels we make ourselves more vulnerable to disease, stress, and burnout. We can't really say we love ourselves if we don't do what we can to protect and nurture our well-being.
Let go of other people's opinions
In most cases, this step is easier said than done. Other people's thoughts about us often have a big impact on our lives. They can decide things like if we are offered a job or if a romantic interest makes an effort to get to know us. While the opinions of others are important in some ways, we should be true to ourselves first.
Embracing who you are may alienate some people from you. However, it will also probably attract situations and people that are right for you. There will always be someone judging something about you, it's part of the world we live in. Rather than investing your emotional energy in keeping up with their expectations, learn to be kind to yourself and practice self-acceptance. You may find that you still love your opinion more than theirs.
Invest in yourself
Everyone has dreams for their future. However, not everyone takes steps to make that future a reality. Sometimes what we want in our lives requires difficult things like additional education, a career change, achieving fitness goals, or gaining a new perspective. Without the basic first steps, the biggest dream will never come.
Take time to think about what you want for your future. Make a plan to accomplish this. It's okay if your plan extends for a year, 5-10 years or longer. The important thing is that you try to stay true to yourself. As you complete each milestone along the way, you are sure to show yourself that you love yourself.
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Setting limits
Setting boundaries is difficult. But doing so is an easy way to develop self-love. Limits are the things we do in life to protect our mental, physical, and emotional well-being from other people. They can include things like choosing not to engage in verbal confrontations with someone during an argument or not answering the phone for your boss on the weekend. May include saying no to people who repeatedly ask for your help but are not there to help you in return. A physical limitation might be choosing to shake someone's hand instead of allowing them to hug you. Limits can appear in all sorts of ways and depend greatly on the individual.
Try to find some limits that you want in your life. Think about situations that make you feel vulnerable, stressed or out of control. Think about how you can reduce the likelihood of these situations occurring. Consider what protective measures you can take to avoid them, as in the examples above.
Be prepared for some rejection as you begin to set your limits. Others may not be ready for your newfound confidence. However, if you can stand up for what you believe is right and protect yourself along the way, you will undoubtedly have proof that you can show yourself love.
Let go of perfection
Perfection is the drive to do something without any mistakes or flaws. People practice perfection in different ways in their lives. Some may strive to have perfect attendance or grades, a spotless home or the body they want. While it's important to do your best, there's a difference between working hard and working to the extreme to make everything perfect.
Rather than thinking of the things you do as failures or successes, try to find the space in between. Ask yourself what could go wrong if you don't do everything perfectly. Practice bringing some balance to your thoughts and habits. Work slowly to release your desire to control results.
Creating unrealistic standards ultimately leads to more feelings of failure, because the bar is set so high that no one (including you) can reach it or achieve it well. Once you're trapped in this cycle, it's hard to understand why you should love yourself, because it always ends up feeling like you're not good enough. Work to become comfortable with doing something to the best of your ability, not the best it could be.
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Loving who you are is not easy. This is not a skill we are taught as children and is not often practiced in adulthood. However, loving yourself is possible and very rewarding. While these tips seem simple on paper, they can take a lot of work. You may find greater success if you partner with a licensed therapist like those available through Serenis.en. Contact to begin your journey to self-love today.