In today's article we will see how to make love, for both him and her.
So, unlike usual, today I'm going to give advice To both men and women.
First, to understand how to make love well we need to understand what we are talking about.
In fact, when we talk about making love we refer to something other than how to have sex.
As you may have already guessed, let's talk about something more slow, romantic, sensual.
So today we are going to focus on this type of relationship and we are going to do it, specifically, by dividing this article into 3 parts.
In the first one I'll give you some general rules and then there will be two sections more focused on him and her.
How to make love: 16 tips for the couple
Well, let's start this one guide to making love with a piece of advice that might seem obvious, but isn't at all.
1. You have to be in love with each other to make love
It is not my intention to be a "home wrecker" by giving this advice, but it is indeed so. Many couples stay together out of inertia.
And, although becoming better lovers can definitely improve the relationship outside the blankets as well, this is not a substitute for having a relationship with proper foundation.
If you have this first ingredient let's move on.
2. Sex, as well as lovemaking, starts outside the bed
Simply put, if outside the bed you have the passion that there is between Fantozzi and his wife, you will hardly experience passionate love between the sheets.
This implies that you must create passion and romance not only in bed but also, even before, outside of it.
3. Practice Kegel exercises on a regular basis for both of you
Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic flora. So, if you do both regularly, sex in general will be better and more enjoyable.
4. Create a romantic atmosphere
Music, soft lighting, incense, scented candles. So you want to create a typical movie scene.
5. Foreplay is essential
Foreplay is always important. But… in this case even more so.
In fact one of the characteristics of making love is that You take more time and the relationship is slower.
So, in this case, the rule is long and passionate foreplay.
How long? Very long.
Long and passionate. In fact, it is not just a matter of chronometer talk but to create a real experience that is, at times, even better than sex itself.
6. Pay close attention to your erogenous zones
In fact it is part of the foreplay, but it is better to emphasize this aspect.
Take time to learn what the erogenous zones are e stimulate yourself to each other. All.
Find out which are the most erogenous for you to which, of course, you will pay more attention, always trying not to forget the others.
7. Masturbate each other
We can also consider this activity as part of foreplay but, since it is so important, it is good to stress about it.
I remind you again that foreplay will be very long and you don't want to skip any steps.
8. Play more romantic positions
The positions that provide greater intimacy and promote moments of tenderness are those that allow you to look into each other's eyes and at the same time leave your hands free so that you can caress, touch and kiss.
These include:
- the classic missionary position in both variants, with him or her on top;
- the jellyfish, in which he is sitting with his partner sitting on top with her legs crossed.
9. Move slowly
You don't have to give up pleasure, but two of the most important aspects of lovemaking are the slow and the sensuality.
10. Try to finish together
This point, to be honest, primarily requires the "coordination" of his. To be able to come when she comes it might be helpful to delve into how to last longer and learn how to come when you want to.
11. Increase communication in bed
This will help you to increase intimacy, but also learn what the other likes and give you a better chance of coming together.
12. Once finished, cuddling
This is especially important after making love, as it increases oxytocin and the sense of bonding between you.
13. If possible go ahead
Even all night or late. In any case, try to avoid the classic "one-night stand".
14. Have breakfast together
This also increases the sense of bonding. You can take turns preparing breakfast by making what the other likes.
15. Experience it from behind
If you are passionate, this kind of practice increases intimacy.
16. Experiment with tantra
Again, this is a set of practices that will skyrocket intimacy and connection.
Well. Given these 16 tips for making good love with a special eye on the couple we move a little more focus on him and her.
Tips for her: how to make love well with a man
Here, again, I have to start with an important clarification that is good to remember. Having sex and making love are two different things.
Don't get me wrong, becoming a sex goddess is perfectly fine to make your man happy and is certainly something worth learning.
But it is different from making love to him. Actually you should do both.
So, for the purposes of today's article I'm not going to teach you how to make him happy with wild sex but to Create a connection in bed. And that's something that's important to a woman as it metaphorically emphasizes the fact that you're a couple and not "friends with benefits"as they say in English.
So let's look at a few things you can do.
0. Tell him you are in love with him
Why I called this point "zero point"?
Because there is no specific time within a set order in which to apply this advice, but do it when you feel the time has come.
1. Prepare a romantic dinner
Nothing "stinks" (in a good way of course, pass me that term) of a good girlfriend like a dinner prepared for him.
Now let me be clear. I don't want you to see any machismo in what I just wrote.
Simply as human beings we are socially conditioned by society, movies, etc.
And, even though as I write this, in 2021, things are changing fast, a great many men, in their heads, still have this association
Girl making me dinner = engagement material
Then simply exploit, regardless of what your ideas might be, this social construct.
Prepare a romantic dinner for him based on what he likes.
2. Create a romantic and comfortable set
We've seen this before. It's important to understand that men aren't particularly good at this. They may be more "into" creating more sensual scenarios.
In this sense you can "get in the game" and show him by example how it's done.
Imagine a scene from a Hollywood movie. They're all pretty much the same, right?
Soft lights, closed doors, sensual or in this case romantic music, candles and a bottle of wine.
Given your feminine nature it is also important that you create a warm, clean, scented environment. This signals that you have traits that connect to what, in the common imagination, is a good girlfriend.
Plus, if the interest you have in him is shared, the message is clear: this evening or night will not be a quickie or a "mechanical" relationship.
3. Do things slowly
Once again, this point is very important. Start the foreplay by starting with your clothes on. Slowly undress and then move on to "real" foreplay.
You set the pace by showing him how you stimulate, very slowly, his whole body, tease him. Then focus on the erogenous zones and finally on the genitals.
4. Stay in the here and now
Many women struggle to stay in the present during sex. Although this is common to both genders, statistically, women have a little more mental issues than men during intercourse.
Then try to quiet your internal chatter as much as possible with practices like meditation, mindfulness, presence practice, yoga, etc.
5. Focus on her whole body
Simply, from head to toe.
Although, as a general rule, it would be best that once you start focusing on genitals, you stay there.
Sure you can tease him, but don't start by stimulating them and then move on to something else.
6. Keep the connection
This is done in 3 simple ways:
- Look into each other's eyes whenever the position allows. Keep in mind that this should be possible almost always because, even if the position does not allow it, you can get around this problem with a wall mirror.
- Call each other by name or, at any rate, by nicknames that you use.
- Focus on her pleasure instead of yours (assuming it has to be mutual).
7. Come together
If he's faster than you simply help him. Here a good communication in bed can be of great help.
When he tells you he is about to come start manually stimulating you while he is inside you so you can come together.
8. Cuddling
We have already addressed this part but let's see it from the female point of view. While he is lying down simply lean towards him and put your head on his chest, then let yourself cuddle.
This "position" is important because it makes him appear more masculine and you appear more feminine.
9. If he hasn't done it yet propose tantra to him
We saw earlier how it can be worth trying to do it from behind and tantra.
While with doing it from behind would be good that he took the lead, with tantra you can be the first to suggest the idea.
Well, given these tips let's move on to him.
Tips for him: how to make love well with a woman
As for tips for you, if you have not already done so, go reread the 16 tips I gave at the beginning of this article.
They are all very good and you can incorporate them all.
In this part of the article then, dedicated to you, rather than a step by step guide I want to give you some principles that you can incorporate with what we have already seen.
Indeed, you should incorporate them into everything you do in bed with your woman.
I call these principles the 7 emotional levers, let's see them together.
1. Dominance
Being dominant in bed for a man is essential. Always, even if you are making love.
At the same time it is clear that you will be less dominant than when, for example, you are having wild sex.
2. Emotion
Women are emotional creatures and therefore, especially when making love, we must solicit these emotions.
3. Variety
Changing positions and knowing lots of bedroom techniques will help you do this.
4. Immersion
Here we mean the ability to let go, which is even more important when making love to her.
5. Authority
While dominance is more about body language, authority has more to do with what you say and how you say it.
6. Possession
Understood as that territoriality in bed that makes her feel yours.
7. Presence
Your ability to be in the present moment during your relationship with her.
Now, given all these things, let's focus on one last aspect.
How to make love at a distance
I write this article in 2021.
I don't want to get into the health and political issue (or call it what you will) but in one way or another we have recently found ourselves, despite ourselves, away from our loved ones.
So the must-ask question is…
You can make love at a distance?
And if yes, how?
From a philosophical point of view one could debate. I remember once hearing about a book where this couple, who can't remember for what reason can't physically see each other, agrees like this
The two come out at the same time looking at the stars and thinking about each other.
So, from an "energetic" point of view, we could debate that this couple, unwillingly distant, was making love much more than couples who have broken up but remain together.
In practice though physical proximity is needed.
As we have seen, this can sometimes, in these times, come up short.
How you can resolve if you and she are in this situation?
Simply in two ways. Through the sexting, That guarantees you think about each other while staying aroused by the thought of each other, and turning each other on in video call.
This second option for some might sound like the "loser" who pays the professional to masturbate in front of the webcam but, in a couple, if the intentions are different and there is a life lit under the covers, the premises are different.
Well, that's it for today.
See you in the next article,
Gio.