Accept their differences
One of the most important things you can do to care for those you love, whether it's a romantic partner, friend, or family member, is to accept and even celebrate the ways in which they are different from you. Rather than just tolerating their little quirks, make sure you extend love and care toward them even when their differences are difficult to understand.
While disagreements and differences in relationships are inevitable, psychologists theorize that our reaction to differences within relationships can create a healthy or damaging bond. When conflicts arise, try to lean on your love for the people around you, rather than focusing on the ways in which they differ or break down.
Validate their experiences
Sometimes it can be difficult to understand what a loved one is going through, whether they are struggling with a mental illness, stressful experiences at work or in life, or are simply going through a difficult time. In these moments, it's important to validate the experiences of the people you love, even if their experiences are different from yours.
Studies show that listening is one of the most important factors in any relationship. In addition to listening, you should also make sure your loved ones know that you respect their feelings and opinions, even if you don't always understand. Rather than pushing them to feel like they are making up or exaggerating the problems in their lives, communicate that their experiences are valid.
Source: unsplash.com
Learn their love language
While everyone wants to feel loved, they often have very different preferences on how to express and receive love. The Five Love Languages is a philosophy pioneered by psychologist Gary Chapman that encourages partners to discover the ways their partner communicates affection.
Love languages include gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. Those who express love through gifts might buy their loved one an expensive piece of jewelry or enjoy a nice dinner. Those who express love through quality time might enjoy a long conversation with their partner or a quiet walk in the woods with someone they love. People who express love through words of affirmation enjoy both giving and receiving positive verbal feedback, and often express their love with words. Those who express love through acts of service might cook a good meal or run errands for those they love. People who prefer physical contact, meanwhile, enjoy hugs, cuddling on the couch, and being physically close to their loved ones.
While everyone may enjoy different aspects of these actions to varying degrees, most people have one or two with which they most often communicate their love. In addition, the language with which they are most likely to communicate is also intended to be the language with which they prefer to receive love.
Source: unsplash.com
By identifying the love languages of your loved ones, you can better understand the way they express their love to you, and at the same time you can better express yourself to them in turn. Although some love languages may be relatively foreign to you, you can make an effort to incorporate them into your daily life so that you can communicate more effectively with those you love!
Practice clear communication
Communication is one of the most important factors in a healthy relationship. By communicating clearly with your loved ones, you can avoid any misunderstandings or unintentional conflict that might ensue. Be sure to think before you speak, and discuss clearly and rationally any topics or differences of opinion between you and the people you love. Even if you don't come to the same conclusion in the end, you'll be able to express yourself and your concerns in a healthy and constructive way.
Communication also helps you ask for and receive help from the people you love. If you are able to communicate clearly when you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed or like you need help, other people will be able to help you better. Similarly, by talking through problems and stressful situations with a partner or loved one, you can ensure that you are supporting them to the best of their ability.
Even in the small instances of everyday life, communication can be a great foundation for a healthy relationship. Try to set aside some time to spend quality time with those you love, whether it's breakfast with your partner every morning, an outing with a friend, or a weekly phone call to your parents. Keeping the lines of communication open will ensure that your relationships continue to grow and thrive.
Spend time with those you love
Even if your love language isn't "quality time," spending time with those you love is still an important part of any healthy relationship! Spending time together cements the bonds of a relationship and allows you to make new experiences and happy memories together. Although it can be difficult to spend time with all of your loved ones when you're already overwhelmed with work, school, or life, the effects of spending time with those close to you can actually have a positive effect on other areas of your life!
If you're looking for ways to spend more time with loved ones, consider devoting a day (or even an evening!) per week to spend time with them. Put aside work, obligations and other activities and focus on your time together. If you have similar interests, consider participating in an activity together that you both enjoy, whether it's a movie, a class, or just a walk together. Quality time will give your relationships the space and attention they need to flourish.
Accept the hard times
While we all want our relationships to be easy and effortless, the reality is that relationships are often filled with difficulties, challenges, and periods of struggle. Even without regard to other people, life can throw you some tremendous curveballs. Add more people to the mix, and you can often be surprised and overwhelmed by life's natural, and sometimes unpleasant, twists and turns.
Even when the going gets tough, it's important to accept your loved ones during difficult times, transitions, and upsets. A strong relationship can weather these storms and emerge to peace and sunshine on the other side. Even if you feel like you're close to breaking point, be sure to communicate your love and acceptance to the people around you so that you can hang in there together.
If someone you love is going through a difficult time, it's especially important to stay by their side and help them through it. Try to offer support and encouragement, but also leave them alone if they need time to themselves. Accept that he or she may not be happy or present while struggling with bigger issues, and try to provide what he or she needs to overcome the challenges he or she faces.
Celebrating the good times
Once you've weathered a few storms in your relationship, whether with your romantic partner, family or friends, it's especially important to celebrate the good times when they come! It can be all too easy to focus on the negative in both relationships and life, so it's always a good idea to savor and celebrate the happy occasions, successes, and simple pleasures. If you're feeling extra cheesy, you can even write a short note or email to express your love and appreciation. While it might seem trivial, it might also brighten someone's day!
Even when you're caught up in the hectic rush of every day, it's important to take a few steps back and reflect on the ways in which relationships with others benefit and enrich your life. Whether you have a huge network of friends and acquaintances or a few true blue people in your life, these relationships are part of what makes life worth living. Be sure to celebrate with your loved ones when you can, and let them know how important they are to you!
Relationships, whether romantic, platonic or with family members, can be difficult to navigate even at the best of times. But they are also some of the most important social foundations we build in life. It's important to nurture and grow the relationships that are important to you and make sure your loved ones know they are loved and appreciated. No matter how much effort you put in, however, there can be challenges when it comes to relationships. If you're struggling with your relationships with others, it's never a bad idea to seek the opinion and guidance of a professional.