When you're trying to build a relationship, it's impossible to avoid mistakes, especially if it's the first time for you. You and your boyfriend fight, you make up, you learn to give in to each other, and that's okay. The only one who doesn't make mistakes is the one who doesn't do anything. But some classic mistakes can still be avoided. You'd be surprised, but not all troubles are guys' fault-sometimes we do things that offend, make them mad, or even scare them. What you shouldn't do and what you should do more often, read below.
Mistake #1: Never write first
Who told you not to write first?? Nonsense! It's the opposite – guys like that kind of initiative! But as long as you're already in a relationship and you're not sending him a hundred smiley faces a minute. Many girls believe that if a guy wants to get in touch with them – he will find a way, and this is true, but only at a stage where you have not yet confessed to each other feelings and have not decided to be together. And when you have been a couple for months, but you stubbornly do not write him first – it's stupid. No need to flood him with messages, but sometimes you can still write – so you show that you care about him and you think about it.
Mistake #2: Getting attached too quickly
You might want to hold off on that one. When you're in a relationship, it's logical to look for protection, all sorts of niceties and tell you how many spoonfuls of sugar you need to put in your tea… But you don't do that on the third date! Seriously! Imagine in a guy's shoes if you went out with someone a couple of times, and he would cuddle up to you, trust all your secrets and purring, playing the role of an affectionate kitten. How would you respond?? That's right. The guy also wants to run away from a girl like that, because he is not sure what he wants, and you have already thought up the names of your future children. Anyway, you get the idea: showing affection when you've been together for a long time is good, on the first few dates is bad.
Mistake #3: Never plan a date
The first few dates should be planned by the guy, and it's better to plan every detail – that's a fact, but if you're almost dating or have been dating for a while, we're sure he'll be just happy if you plan one of the dates! Guys like to let a girl take the initiative from time to time to see what she really wants, so go for it. Pick a place, pick a time, plan every detail, and surprise him. Why not?? Guys love surprises.
Mistake #4: Act like you don't care
Indifference has never been a good thing, and that goes for any stage of a relationship. If he offers you a choice of places to go, do not say "I do not care," he did not ask for nothing and wants your opinion. And when you say you don't care if he goes out with your friends or you, and then you get hurt that he went out with his friends, that's your problem. Guys hear what you say, not what you supposedly meant, and you really have no right to be offended in this case – you yourself let him go. In general, don't fake it, and you'll both be happy.
Mistake #5: Using sex as manipulation
Don't ever do that! Ny-nee-nee-nee! We probably should have written this in caps, but we hope you'll understand it anyway. It won't make your relationship stronger, and even if you are trying to get a guy to do something, you will probably get it, but you will cause a lot of stress and he will treat you differently. You don't want to provoke any more fights? Act differently – discuss everything with him in words, and do not immediately say "No sex for a month, and you'll be sleeping on the couch," Guys are not lustful animals, as stupid women write in magazines your mom reads.
Mistake #6: Act like a princess
Of course you're a princess, we can't argue with that. But having good self-esteem and having too much self-esteem are two different things. It might be hard for you to realize this, but guys often get hurt when a girl acts royal, turns up her nose and mistakes her own boyfriend for a servant. Guys themselves admit that girls are just beautiful, and any guy should try to fit in, but everyone agrees that you need to hint at it correctly, rather than make claims in the style of "Work, you smerd, the sun is still high".
Mistake #7: Make you jealous by flirting with other guys
So, patient, tell me where you got this crap? If you like a guy, the last thing you should do is act indifferent, flirt with others and show that you can get anyone. Sure you can, but that way you just kill all the interest of the guy. Why does he need someone who hangs on to everyone, "What if she does that when we're dating??" – goes round and round in his head. In general, it's better not to do that, be honest.
Mistake #8: Going to extremes
Letting your boyfriend do everything for you, making the first move, deciding where you go on your tenth date, when you kiss, when you declare your love, when you move in together, when you get married, have kids, when you put everyone in daycare and school, and so on – if he's the only one to decide all this – these are extremes. Of course, we are exaggerating about the children, but if he is the only one who is constantly deciding all the important and not very important questions, and you are just there for beauty, nothing will work out. And it will be the same if you give up too easily and let him win you over without a struggle, effort, gifts and deeds, just to make it easier for him, and the poor guy did not overworked – it's also bad. There has to be a balance, you have to know the limits, let everyone in your couple fulfill his function.