Love
Updated November 24, 2021
Let's talk about love! When most people hear the word "love," they immediately think of romantic relationships. That's what love is, right? Well, more or less. Actually there are different types of love. One of the types we probably think about the least is philia love.
What is philia love?
To understand love philia, you need a quick background on the different types of love.
- Loveagape Is unconditional love. This is the greatest kind of love and the kind that people seek most often. It's a love that accepts you for who you are, despite your flaws and imperfections. This is known as the highest form of love. It is pure and completely unselfish.
- The love ofStorge Is also known as familial love. This is the kind of love that happens naturally in most parent-child relationships. This is the love that allows a parent to instinctively love their child no matter what happens.
- Loveeros is the intense and passionate love. This is where romantic feelings come from. It is love that is present at the beginning of relationships and is connected to sex and emotions. It's not necessarily a lasting love, but it can become one.
- LovePhilia is the love of friendship. In Greek, Philia means brotherly love.
A little more about Love Philia
While philia love is brotherly love, it is also an important part of marriage and long-term relationships.
To have a successful long-term relationship, it is important that you are also friends with the other person. This means you have to enjoy doing things and share similar interests. It doesn't mean you have to share everything in common. But think about your friendships: you're most likely not friends with people you don't have things in common with. For the same reason, it is important that you have this kind of love for your spouse or significant other as well. But back to how philia love affects your friendships.
Why philia love is important in friendships
Aristotle established that there were three main types of friendship. These types were established based on what someone was getting out of the relationship.
- Helpful – This is when you are friends with someone because there is a connection and you are getting something out of it. It is leading to something you desire, such as a job, business contact or medicine.
- Pleasant – This is when a friendship is based solely on the pleasure derived from it. This could be hanging out and talking with your friends, or going out for drinks.
- Virtue – This is when a friendship is based on true friendship and not on what someone is getting out of the relationship. This is a deeper connection and includes consideration of the other person's well-being.
Healthy friendships are an important part of life. Obviously, the best kind of love to have within a friendship is the kind that's mutually beneficial. This is when you form connections with another person and build a relationship based on trust and companionship.
This is important in friendships because it is what allows your relationship to be healthy and long-lasting. Both people are able to benefit and contribute to the relationship. This is how deep friendships are formed that help you improve and grow as a person. Such a relationship is also important because it allows you to have someone you connect well with and enjoy spending time with.
Tips on how to build healthy relationships
It is important to have friends in your life. Even if you're in a romantic relationship, it's unrealistic to expect one person to meet all of your needs. For example, if you like to go shopping and get new clothes and your significant other can't stand it, that's a great time to spend with some friends who have something in common with you.
True friends are also incredibly valuable because they provide you with a safe place to bounce ideas back and forth. True friends won't judge you or look down on you for your imperfections, and they won't be afraid to call you out on behavior you have that isn't quite right. This is not always easy to find. To build a healthy friendship, you should work on the following:
Building trust
With close friends, you should be able to share things that you may not be able to share with other people, and know that they will keep them to themselves. You must be able to trust them and have confidence that they will not judge you or talk about you to other people after you have confided in them.
Balance and Equality
It's not a healthy relationship if one person is gaining from the relationship and the other person is constantly giving. Often, people who have low self-esteem find themselves in relationships where they are the doormats. They are constantly doing things for the other person without getting much in return. This is not a healthy form of friendship.
Be empathetic and compassionate
Compassion is an important part of friendship. A good friend is someone who will stand by you when you're going through a difficult time. Even if they don't understand exactly what you're going through, they will work to try to understand it as best they can. When they don't know exactly what to do to improve the situation, they will still be there for you in the best way they know how. Friends work to support each other and are there for the other person even when others are not.
Honesty
True friends don't just tell each other what they think the other person wants to hear. Instead, they work to be open and honest with each other, even when it's not something the other person wants to hear. They know that the truth is more important than trying to make the other person happy.
This is such an important part of friendship and something that many friendships lack. Your true friends know you better than most other people, so it's important that they are able to be honest with you to help you see the truths about yourself that you may be missing. You should be able to do the same with them, with a caveat: true friends also know how to do it in a way that doesn't hurt more than necessary.
Some independence
Just because you're good friends – even best friends – with a person doesn't mean you have to rely solely on them or spend all your time with them. Independence is an important part of friendships, and it's often what keeps the friendship strong.
Many times, when people try to spend all their time together, they end up burning each other out. It's important to know that you can have more than one friend. There may be some friends that you have been closer with for some reason, and others that you are closer with in different areas of your life. This is perfectly okay and normal. If you want to maintain a good friendship in a healthy way, make sure you don't try to smother the other person.
When a friendship is turning into something more
There are many different opinions about whether a relationship can be successful when you start out as friends. Some people believe that the best relationships begin as friendships. Then, there are people who believe that it is impossible to have a friendship with someone you are attracted to, which is an important part of a healthy romantic relationship. Therefore, they do not think that you can have a relationship that turns into something more.
But if you find yourself in a friendship that you feel is starting to become something more, the first thing you need to do is be honest about your feelings. Your friendship will not continue to be healthy if you are hiding the feelings you have for the other person. Therefore, you need to discuss the change you're experiencing with your friend to see how they respond. If you feel the same way, then your relationship can naturally progress into new areas. And if not, you've been open and honest, and the two of you can decide how to continue your friendship.
Getting help with love
Research shows that online therapy can help people cope with difficult-to-process emotions associated with relationships, including friendships. In a large report, the overall effectiveness of online psychotherapy in addressing a wide range of mental health issues was examined by. Researchers combined more than 90 studies – covering post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression and other disorders – with nearly 10.000 total participants, concluding that online therapy is an effective means of providing mental health treatment. The study specifically notes that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) was the most effective method. CBT works by helping individuals reframe negative thought patterns that can be at the root of unwanted thoughts and behaviors, such as difficulty cultivating loving relationships.
Conclusion
Love is not an easy thing, even when it comes to friendships. If you find that you are struggling with forming healthy relationships, it may help to talk to an experienced therapist. It can help you identify the areas that hold you back from forming good friendships and identify the areas you need to work on changing.
It helps to have people in your life to turn to in times of need and to laugh with in good times. Even if you're already in a romantic relationship, having good, healthy friendships is still important, making filiation a vital part of a healthy, full life.