Sex, from a purely sexual point of view, is not the same as sex biological, it is a simple mechanism, a simple technique of shuffling of the genetic material in order to increase the variability and therefore to increase the possibility of survival.
Now, if you will think about this sentence of mine the next time you have sex I apologize in advance : I want to make you see sex from various points of view and then explain a concept to you.
If we look at how animals have sex we often see something very quick, fast and goal-oriented: the goal is the fertilization.
If we look instead at the man… UAU… the man, thanks in part to the invention of contraceptives, the vast majority of the time she has sex only and exclusively for pleasure.
So there is a big difference between most animals and man: have you ever thought about it?
What is the relationship between the times humans have sex for pure pleasure and the times they have sex with the conscious intention of producing offspring?
1 a 10? No, I would say much more than that: 1 to 100? 1 a 500? 1 a 1000?
Whatever this relationship is, it is obvious that the man often does a lot of times for pure and simple pleasure.
Female pleasure
But if the man has sex very often for simple pleasure the question is: pleasure of who?!
No, the question is not as trivial as it may seem: when you have sex with a woman you think about the your pleasure or his?
In the vast majority of cases the answer will be: "I think about the pleasure of both".
But… it was not always so.
It is not easy to define how was the management of pleasure in bed in the past and in different civilizations, but it is reasonable to assume that in the past, because of the role of women so subjugated to men, there was less attention to female pleasure.
Even not looking at polygamous civilizations (and no, it's not just the Islamics, in the past many civilizations were polygamous) it's easy to assume that the most important pleasure, in a sexual relationship, was that of the male.
[I'm summarizing in two sentences the entire sexual pleasure history of mankind so it's obvious that this is a huge generalization ]
Feminist revolution and performance syndrome
Feminism, as I always say, was one of the most important movements that ever happened and it brought a lot of positive things.
But, within these, we can identify some unpleasant consequences derived not from feminism itself but from a'extreme of its principles.
One of these consequences is the following: many men are so obsessed with making a woman come that they miss out on the beauty of sex.
Of course, I'm not saying that you shouldn't pay attention to female pleasure, on the contrary, I'm just saying in some cases the man has a "performance syndrome", as if in bed you measure your value as a man.
He therefore ties his ego to how much he can make a woman enjoy herself and the sexual act often becomes a simple measure of his abilitiesThe more he makes her come the better he feels, the longer the intercourse lasts, the more he is convinced that he is giving her pleasure.
This happens especially in men who live in a mentality of scarcity, they keep telling themselves "I want a special girl", and live as if a woman, usually a woman in particular, is the solution to their problems.
But even not going to such extreme extremes, in general the male often focuses a little too much on "how to make her feel pleasure"
The problem?
The problem is that it becomes a mechanical act, he thinks too much and she feels it.
How to solve?
The solution is: stop thinking too much and let yourself go.
Banal eh?
Banal and very effective.
In many men think the exact opposite, they think that they must constantly be in control, they constantly focus on her pleasure, so they are full of thoughts "Now I'm going to get into this position" "Now I'm going to stimulate her like this" "Now watch her enjoy".
In short, they incessantly keep thinking about their performance and although this, from a purely technical point of view, works, From a human and emotional point of view no, it doesn't work.
Why?
We've always said that women are very, very sensitive to nonverbal communication. That's when they're talking to a person, let alone having sex with them!
This means that a woman feels very strongly if a man is just using techniques to make her come or is letting go, if he is expressing his masculine energy or if he isn't.
Give it a try, you'll be amazed at how much your way of having sex can change.
A man once said to me: "I was always thinking about positions, what to do, etc. etc. Then I let go and it all came together."
Of course, having sex is the thing most natural in the world!
But don't misunderstand: this doesn't mean that you can't improve the way you have sex or that you can't learn techniques.
Meaning you have to learn them first and then forget about them, make them "come out on their own," make them come naturally. You don't have to fixate on them, you don't have to be obsessed with your performance in the bedroom.
Try it, you'll see how your way of having sex will change.