The opposite day I obtained this letter:
"Hello, Masha,
I’m fully confused and have no idea what to do … I’ve a buddy that I do know lengthy and nicely, and she or he has a boyfriend. In order that's it. Look, right here's what occurred. Per week in the past this similar man texted me some silly VKontakte message. We began texting and we ended up speaking many of the evening. The following day it occurred once more. And each different day. Anyway, we've been texting for every week. And it's actually enjoyable. And yesterday he supplied to satisfy me on Friday at a restaurant. And what do I do now?? I don't get it in any respect. I imply, on the one hand, sure, he has a girlfriend. What's extra, she's my girlfriend (nicely, not my finest, actually, however nonetheless). However, he's clearly courting me, compliments me and all that, and I prefer it. And the third one, I get actually nervous simply fascinated about us presumably assembly. As a result of I've by no means truly dated a man earlier than. I’ve two questions: is he actually asking me out?? and… what do I do???!! Give me some recommendation.".
Effectively, let's break down this complete story intimately, level by level.
- What's happening??!?!
It's not straightforward being on this state of affairs, I agree. However once you take a look at it from the skin, the reply to the query, "What ought to I do??"It's apparent, and I’ve to jot down it, even if you happen to don't prefer it.
- What to do?
The reply is, you want to cease texting him instantly. Till he lastly and formally breaks up together with her. Inform you extra, even when this occurs they usually break up, you need to be very cautious with this man. Why? Trigger he's being an actual jerk proper now.
- How does it look out of your facet??
He's cool, and it's really easy to textual content him such as you've identified one another for ages. He spends all evening texting you on goal. Why doesn't he spend it along with his girlfriend?? It's most likely been a very long time since they've had such a superb factor. He's most likely not glad with the connection anymore. He desires to interrupt up together with her and begin courting you. Ooh… he's so cute!
- The way it actually is?
Effectively, no fantasies? He most likely simply desires to hook up with somebody on the facet. In truth, he's not gonna break up along with his girlfriend. As a result of if he was going to, he would have performed it already. And naturally he's not cool in any respect and he's not cute in any respect as a result of no cute individual on the planet would flirt with anybody behind his girlfriend's again. Yeah, yeah! Even when it's whoever-it-is you.
- Lame or manipulative?
All of his explanations about them Relationships suck on the very least, and manipulation on the very most. If he's mendacity, it's manipulation: he is aware of they're not planning on breaking apart anytime quickly. Nevertheless it's not prefer it's his fault as a result of he didn't let you know that. So in the event that they do break up, he'll look good-looking. Effectively, if not, he'll simply let you know, "I by no means stated we have been gonna break up. "We've determined to strive it over again" or some such bullshit. Or he does have ideas of breaking apart in his head, however solely after he has an "alternate airfield" within the type of one other lady. He's petrified of being alone? That's type of lame. You understand what I imply?
- What's subsequent??
He's already talked to you adequate to know what he desires out of your conversations. Let's not drag it out. Recommend that he cease speaking till he breaks up along with his girlfriend and see how he reacts. If he begins happening about how he wants time and he's actually sad, run away from him as quick as you possibly can. If he agrees with you and actual motion follows… Then perhaps he's not as dangerous as I believe he’s. Sure, there's one essential level you'd do nicely to recollect for all times: if he refuses to do it now, he'll by no means do it. And also you'll all the time be on the sidelines. That's not what you wished in any respect?..
Anyway, it's difficult, as you possibly can see. So simply hand over on this man and transfer on. You deserve one thing higher than your buddy's boyfriend. So did she. Put your self in her sneakers and suppose the way you'd really feel in case your boyfriend acted like that. Possibly sometime he'll break up together with her and you’ll work one thing out… However truthfully, up to now he looks like a egocentric jerk. Though I really like being fallacious about individuals.