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Young love tends to be based on feelings alone. The couple has not yet faced and overcome a challenge or difficulty together. They are passionate about each other. They think about each other constantly and want to spend all their time together. They are likely to blush at the mention of the other person, have sweaty palms, feel a racing heart, and desire the other person. Many times, they don't even know each other well. These feelings are a natural reaction and not something the teen is choosing.
When the relationship faces its first challenge, such as a disagreement between the couple, it can be blown out of proportion. Those who are experiencing young love mistakenly believe that love comes without proof. However, the exact opposite is true. True love develops when a couple decides to overcome the challenges they face and stay together despite them.
Teens are still discovering who they are
Young love is even more challenging because you are still in the process of discovering who you are. When you fall in love and get into a serious relationship before you know yourself, it can cause a lot of problems down the road. To please the other person, you do things that they like. You may even believe that you like these things for a while. But in the future, there may come a day when you realize you've wasted your time doing things you don't like to please someone else.
This makes young love confusing because the more you learn about yourself, the more you may find that you don't enjoy spending time with the other person as much as you once thought you did. And it works the other way, too. You may think you've found the perfect person you're compatible with, but then they start to realize they like different things. It is easy to feel betrayed when this happens. However, it is most likely not that the other person was trying to trick you, but that they did not know each other well enough.
It's also important to know who you are before entering a relationship, so you can learn to love yourself for who you are. If you skip this step, you can quickly end up in the place of becoming a people-pleaser. You will feel that you need another person's love and approval to know that you are okay. But if you know who you are and learn to love that person, all these problems can be avoided.
Teens often don't know what they are looking for
Experience and maturity are important in life. When looking for someone to be in a relationship with, you have to know what you're looking for. Young love often blinds teens to the real situation. This can make love seem even more confusing. You may think you've found the perfect person, but as you continue to mature and learn what's important to you, you may realize that your boyfriend or girlfriend isn't the kind of person you want to be with.
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As teens grow up, many jump from relationship to relationship to find what they're looking for. This makes life, not just love, confusing. This is one reason why it can be helpful to start out as friends while learning who you are and what you are looking for in a partner. Then, eventually, you can see if the relationship should develop into something more.
There is a lot to do in life
Teens are busier than ever these days. They are expected to stay on top of their schoolwork, which often includes hours of homework and studying outside of school. Other than that, many people play sports or have part-time jobs. When you add these things to family and friends, it's hard to add a romantic relationship. If the two individuals can't agree on what is the right amount of time to spend with each other, then one or both of them will end up frustrated and confused.
Teens struggling with young love need to be open with each other about expectations. This can help eliminate confusion in the relationship.
It may be one-sided
There's nothing as upsetting as being a teenager in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way. Young love is an intense emotion that can be overwhelming. If feelings aren't reciprocated, many teens struggle with how to move forward. Some people remain obsessed with each other for years, until school ends and they no longer meet regularly. If you are a teenager who is experiencing this, you need to understand that it is a normal thing that happens, even for adults. It does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It simply means that you are not meant for each other.
Peer pressure plays a role in this
Peer pressure is something that teens deal with at a much higher level than any other age group. It can make young love and relationships very complicated. Teens can feel pressured to be in a relationship even if they're not interested, because all of their friends are in relationships. They may also be driven to take the relationship to the next level even if they are not ready. There's an intense desire to fit in with their peers, and this makes it easy to cross boundaries they wouldn't have crossed otherwise.
Tips on young love
Just because it's considered "young love," doesn't mean it's not real. If you're a teenager, there are a few things you can do to eliminate some of the dating confusion.
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- Don't date your friend's ex. You may have strong feelings for that person, but you need to determine how important your friend is to you. Many high school friendships end because of young love that doesn't last. Your friend might even say it's okay, but it's best to know for sure before you date his or her ex.
- Spend some time getting to know yourself. You want to be in a relationship with someone who likes you for who you are. This means you need to know who you are, what you like and what you don't like. Once you know who you are, don't compromise it for any other person, no matter how much you love them. A person who loves you for the right reasons won't ask you to compromise.
- Don't isolate yourself. Don't sacrifice your relationships with family and friends for the person you're dating. You may want to spend a lot of time with them, but make sure you save time for others as well.
- Get on the same page. Talk to the other person to make sure you are both on the same page and feel the same way. Then communicate your expectations. If you are playing a sport and need time to practice and spend time with your team, be honest about it.
- Don't lose focus. School will go by quickly and you need to have a plan for what comes next. Don't lose focus because you're so consumed with your relationship. Whether you plan to go to school or start a career, be sure to prioritize your future.
Navigating Love with Serenis
There is a growing body of research that points to online therapy as a powerful tool for understanding confusing feelings, including those related to young love. In a large study published in World Psychiatry, Researchers have evaluated the potential effectiveness of online therapy, and specifically online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). They found that online therapy is just as effective as face-to-face therapy.
If you're experiencing complicated emotions related to young love, online psychotherapy can help you. Serenis has licensed mental health professionals from all over the country. By having access to more options, you'll have a better chance of finding a therapist who fits your preferences and knows how to help you with your specific concerns. And because Serenis thoroughly vets its therapists you'll know you're working with a qualified, licensed therapist. The mental health professionals at Serenis know how to provide you with guidance in understanding love and relationships.
Conclusion
Don't be in a hurry to find love. Spend time learning who you are and what you like. Enjoy time with your family and friends and try new things. Life is an adventure. If love finds you, then make sure you approach it the right way; but don't worry about trying to make it happen.