Do you need to change for a relationship? You've probably always been told that no. That he who is destined for you will love you just the way you are – with all your flaws, fears, and bumps on your nose. And that's certainly true, but only to a certain extent.

In fact, you probably have to change yourself a little bit. And that's OK – all relationships are built on compromise. Of course, if the guy gives you ultimatums, or, for example, tells you that you're ugly, you shouldn't run away to the clinic for plastic surgery (you should run away from the guy). But in some cases, you might want to change who you are-especially if it's not just for your relationship, but for yourself as well.

Bad habits

Suppose you smoke. Your boyfriend isn't. And he doesn't seem to tell you anything, but you know exactly what he disapproves of. So why don't you quit?? It's good for you in any case, and your boyfriend is sure to support you. Forgetting a bad habit is a hundred times easier when there's someone you do it for. That's not to say that you shouldn't change for your own sake, but sometimes we need some kind of incentive.


Your boyfriend may know that you're constantly late, but that doesn't make it okay. If punctuality is important to him, he sure gets upset every time you don't show up on time. Even if he doesn't tell you about it. Set yourself alarms and reminders, show up strong in advance, decide what you're going to wear, in the evening – show that you care. After all, being late is not a character trait, but banal disrespect.


People often fight over little things: he doesn't wash his mugs that way, you put your jeans in the wrong place… This is important if you spend a lot of time at one of your homes or even live together. You have to learn to put up with these things. Especially if you'd rather have a dusty house and he leaves his stuff lying around. You both have to find a middle ground.

A hobby

It's not about giving up on your favorite show if your boyfriend doesn't like it. But why not try something new?? Yes, maybe you have always hated soccer, but suddenly, one day you go to a match with your boyfriend, you will become a real fan? What's great about relationships is that you share your interests and discover new things about each other.


If you're both used to yelling at each other and slamming doors during arguments, it's certainly not great, but you do you, as they say. But if you usually argue loudly and with anger, and your boyfriend immediately closes in on any confrontation, you need to change something. For you as well as for him.

The future

You're probably not thinking seriously about having kids yet, but you already have some ideas about marriage. And it's okay if you don't want to get married. And it's okay, too, if you've met someone who makes you change your mind. Or the other way around. Be open to new opportunities.

But there are times when you really shouldn't change, no matter how great the guy is.


For example, if he suggests that you run together in the morning, that's ok, if that's what you want. But if he tells you that you're too fat and you need to go on a diet, look how thin everyone else is, not like you? Run away from him.

Your relationship with your family

He may not like your sister or your mom, but that shouldn't matter. Your family may be bad or abusive, but that's up to you, not him. If you're on good terms with your parents, and he's trying to ruin it, do you need a guy like that?


You have a big dream. Like going to Paris. But your boyfriend laughs at you, saying that no one is interested in Paris anymore, it's dirty, expensive, and everyone has been. And you start to feel ashamed of your dreams, because he's probably right. And then in the summer you go to Portugal.

Ideally, your changes for the sake of a relationship should improve you and your life. If it's not happening, and you, on the contrary, feel like you're missing out on something – then don't do it.

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