You can't forget the time he gave you your first teddy bear, you threw popcorn at each other at the movies, and you watched the sunrise together? No matter why you broke up or how many wonderful moments you had together, it's important to move on and enjoy life without him. Here's a whole manual to help you start a new life after a breakup.
Step No. 1: Start controlling your emotions
This stage means you have to start with yourself.
- Cry
Give yourself time to grieve and cry into the pillow, it's a perfectly normal reaction. Do not immediately run to a party with friends and get acquainted with the new guy. If you are not alone with your thoughts immediately after the breakup, your experiences will certainly hide, but not for long … And then you will catch up with renewed vigor at the most inopportune moment. But don't feel sorry for yourself for too long, when you're sobbing, go out.
- Don't think about your sweet moments
Yes, yes, stop thinking about that same walk in the rain, and that night at his house. Yes, you can reminisce about your most romantic moments sometime later when you get over the breakup. It will just be a fond memory of the past. But now they'll only make it worse.
- Don't forget why you broke up
Instead of thinking of the good ones, think of all the bad ones. People don't just break up. Either they're not right for each other, or they don't love each other. Yes, it's possible that you're in love with him and he's not. You have to understand that living with someone who doesn't love you is a constant battle. You've probably had your fair share of conflicts. When you feel like you want him, think of the worst moments in your relationship.
- Don't blame yourself
After the breakup it is logical to sort yourself out, so to speak, to analyze your behavior in different situations. Even if you were wrong about something, it's all in the past. Stopping regretting what's done or not done is a huge step if you want to get over the past. ♪ Don't think, "What if I'd done things differently?" ♪. You did what you did.
- Praise yourself
Exactly like this! Better yet, make a list of your best qualities. ♪ We're sure you'll have enough of those on an A4 sheet ♪. Then make a list of your ex-boyfriend's worst qualities (and don't feel sorry for him)!). When you compare the two lists, you'll realize that there were things on it that clearly didn't suit you. Plus, you'll know what qualities you don't like about a guy at all. This will help you in your next relationship.
- ♪ Be positive ♪
Realize that being on the positive side after a breakup is the last thing you're capable of doing. But trust me, being without a boyfriend is sometimes even cooler than dating someone else. You're free to do whatever you want. Take advantage of it and spend time with your friends.
Step #2: Get him out of your life
The guy should not just forget, but also destroy all the material things that remind you of him.
- Get rid of his stuff
You still have his clothes and gifts? Let him have it. Of course, don't take them to him personally – it's better to ask your friends. You don't want to see your ex again? And delete all the photos, videos and texts that remind you of him. We know it's tough, but it's a proven way to forget the past. If you're still sorry to get rid of the memories, put everything in a box, put it in the back of the closet, and don't dare open it until you're ready! That last one won't happen anytime soon, we're telling you for sure.
- Stop having any contact with him
If you think talking to your ex is a good idea, we assure you it's not. Seeing him is even worse. Don't even check out his social networking page. Do whatever you want – block him, delete him from your friends, change his account or just temporarily not use Twitter, Instagram or VKontakte… Your goal is to prevent communication with him. Maybe he'll ask you to be friends? If you're having such a hard time getting over a breakup, think about whether you need it… We don't think so.
- Don't ask about him
If you have friends in common, you might want to avoid asking them how your ex is doing. Also ask them not to tell you anything about him (good friends will understand). Also, if you find out that he has a new girlfriend, all your efforts to forget him will go to waste.
- Don't do things you used to do together
If you loved listening to Kurt Cobain songs or going to the movies every Saturday night, that's exactly what you shouldn't do. Not forever, of course, but for a while. We know it's hard to give up all the things you love. So just because you enjoyed eating pizza together doesn't mean you can't eat it. But everything in moderation.
- Change the picture
The easiest thing to do is to rearrange your room, hang a new painting, even a new screensaver on the computer is something new. It really does help. You could also go on trips with your parents and friends to the seaside or on a camping trip. By going to a whole new place that has nothing to do with your ex-boyfriend, you're helping yourself to put him behind you.
Step Three: Have Fun and Enjoy Life
There will come a time when you'll come to your senses, start living your life normally, and start looking for a new boyfriend.
- Have fun with your friends
What would we do without our trusted girlfriends?? When you were dating your ex-boyfriends you probably didn't have much time to talk to them. That's all changed now. Go with your girlfriends to the movies, to a cafe, go shopping, or just walk around the park and drink cocoa together. They're always there for you, they're always there for you, they're always there for you.
- Plan your day
When you have something to do, you don't think about silly things. If you stay at home all day, of course you're constantly thinking about your ex. Go out more with friends, help your mom cook, sign up for various clubs and sections, weave braids and make collages on Photoshop. You can finally have some free time to pursue your interests, so make the most of it! But don't forget to leave some time in your schedule to be alone with yourself – everyone needs that.
- Play sports and clean up
They say a good workout is great for clearing your mind. And it's true. First, you'll be insanely proud of yourself after you run 5 km, and second, physical activity will have a positive effect on your figure. If you don't like running, do yoga. You can always find something you like to do. Oh, and don't forget how you look. If you look like a scarecrow, how will you find a nice guy??
- Don't sit in four walls
Spend as little time at home as possible. Go out, visit your girlfriends, but not at home and not alone. No one's ever gotten better from being stuck indefinitely within four walls. You can watch a show in a useless class.
- Don't look for solace in food
In the movies, girls after a breakup always take a huge bucket of ice cream and eat it. You can certainly allow yourself a little extra, but only a little. Alcoholic beverages are not the best solution for you. One, you're not legally allowed to yet, and two, you're not getting any better. # Only unnecessary calls and embarrassing texts #. Verified by .
- Don't go to extremes
We understand that you want a new relationship as soon as possible. You shouldn't rush into things, but you shouldn't grieve for too long. Strike a balance.
- Look for a new guy
Like we told you before, don't go to extremes. Decide for yourself when you are ready for a new relationship. If you find the right guy, you'll know it. Telling you exactly! ♪ And don't be afraid of getting your heart broken again ♪. You're a strong girl? In fact, before you meet your future husband, breakups will happen more than once.