We all have a past, but not all memories we want to share with our boyfriend. The whole ex-partner thing is like a minefield. It's likely that you already have stories like first love, a camp romance, or (hopefully, no) years of abusive relationships in your biography, too. ¶¶ What do you do when a guy asks you to tell him about your ex-boyfriends? ¶¶? And if he even needs to know about your past relationships? How do you talk about your past love so the new partner doesn't get offended??

  • In this article, we tell you how to talk to a guy about previous affairs and not make him worried and jealous.

Wait for the right moment

Talking about exes can certainly wait. Don't lay all your cards on the table on the first or second date. First you have to get to know each other better, to understand how serious your relationship is. If you feel you're ready to build your happy future with your boyfriend, it's okay to talk about the past.

But our advice to you: Don't start a conversation unless you have to. It's not nice when your loved one starts sharing stories about his or her exes out of the blue. Immediately thoughts arise: "Why do I need to know that?? He still hasn't let go of that person?" Better Wait for a question from your partner so you can be sure he is interested in the conversation.

Be honest

There is nothing criminal and shameful in the fact that you and the boyfriend had other relationships or affairs. So do not play the innocent nun, if you are not (the truth tends to get out). That doesn't mean that you have to give the guy all the information about your love stories. Some of the facts may remain a secret. For example, a three-day spa romance, which you yourself wouldn't mind forgetting. Or kissing behind the school with classmate Vova in seventh grade … In short, try to tell her about the most important to you and at the same time do not seem like someone else.

❗️It's also important to warn a guy if you've dated someone he knows. Do not put this information in a deep drawer, or the consequences can be dire.

No details

The story of the past should never be accompanied by details, bright colors and long stories. A guy will be 100% uncomfortable hearing about how many times you slept with your ex, where you spent most of your time, and what gifts he gave you. As Chekhov said, "brevity is the sister of talent.". Take his advice!

No drama

The first rule of fight club is Treat your ex with respect anyway. Hate and anger need to be incinerated, even if your ex was still that scoundrel and scoundrel. You can't speak ill of a man you were once happy with. This is too low!

It also works the other way around. When talking about the past, don't make yourself out to be the one to blame for all the problems. You should not hyperbolize and say what an ungrateful hysteric, demanding constant attention. Don't tarnish your image! And if you know your gaps, you should start working on yourself.

Ask the guy about his past relationships

If it comes to talking about the ex, do not focus only on their own, your significant other was also someone else. The subject of exes is extremely useful. Be very considerate when the boyfriend tells you why he broke up with his ex and what he didn't like about their relationship. Perhaps, for yourself, you will hear warning bells. Maybe he broke up with her because of her weight gain, friendships with other guys, or love of hanging out at the club. You have to wonder if that's the kind of guy you want to be with.

Show that you have no feelings for your ex

The conversation about the exes will not take place for curiosity and amusement. You have to draw a thin line between the past and the present. Share with your boyfriend what lessons you learned from previous relationships that will help you now. No need for hurtful comparisons or detailed analysis. And it's certainly not a good idea to tell him you might still have feelings for your ex. Just say, "I used to be in a relationship with its own charms and difficulties, but this is when I feel truly happy with you.".

Ghosts of the past may haunt and disturb you, but you should not pay attention to them if there is harmony and understanding in the relationship. It doesn't matter who came before. Only the present and the future should keep you captivated.

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