You can easily imagine how happy you'll be for your friend when she finally finds love. In fact, you're more likely to feel left out when the LP enthusiastically announces that you've met "the one" after all. After all, you are not a couple who are in love and soon will get married, and you are certainly not related. Yes, you bond platonically, and you always felt like no one else could encroach on what was going on between you. But-o-o-o… Everything can change in an instant.
Each of us has a friend who has a problem with balance in a relationship. When such a girl is single, she becomes literally your eyes and ears, goes with you to cafes, is not against sharing shopping and practically lives in your house.
But then this happens. She comes over one night to tell you that she met someone special. She's really happy, and isn't that great?? You exhale admiringly, "Oh my God, that's amazing. I should know more about him!". But you think to yourself:
"Well-oh, I'll never see you again. Goodbye!"
It's not that you're jealous at all (okay, maybe a little). This is because you already know: your best friend disappears whenever she has a new romantic relationship. She's all consumed by a new feeling that's just beginning to take hold, and she doesn't care about you at all. But once life takes a sharp turn and knocks the ground out from under such a person, she urgently needs someone to cry to. When such a girlfriend shows up on your doorstep again with tears streaming down your cheeks, your first reaction is probably like this: "Go to hell. You've been missing for months at a time, and now you expect me to comfort you when your relationship is going through bad times? I don't think so!" And you'd be absolutely right to feel that way.
But if your girlfriend is clearly not the previous type, all is not lost. People who have lived long and fulfilling lives have noticed: sometimes it's normal for a young person to prefer moonlight walks and other romantic nonsense to friendship. At times there is nothing wrong with hiding your shyness far away and just shouting at the street at the top of your lungs:
"I'm in love!"
The first few months of a relationship are always intoxicating and exciting. It's beginning to sound like the behavior of an alcoholic or a drug addict who can't get enough of the standard dose. Love stupefies the head more than any potion – in the vein of Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time. That is why it is acceptable for this type of girl to ignore the lyrics and morals of friends and relatives, to whom she talked all the time about her new "not like everyone else". Falling in love is a beautiful period, and therefore as a friend you should put aside any feelings of resentment, jealousy, and envy that you may have. Just let your girlfriend enjoy her new love.
A heart-to-heart talk
However, if your girlfriend neglected communication with you for a long period of time, you are quite forgivable to behave something like this: "What the hell? Can you and I spend at least a little face time?? I really miss you, actually!" We sincerely hope that this does not happen. The dialogue between you and your girlfriend about how you don't think you spend enough time with each other is always uncomfortable. You'll feel desperate and prohibitively demanding, even though that's usually not the case. Besides, you'll probably be concerned about a possible barb from your friend. You're probably afraid she's going to say something like:
"You'll never understand me, because you're lonely.".
A friend for lunch
Anyone who's been in this situation will tell you that it's not very pleasant. Even if your girlfriend listens to your criticism and starts making more of an effort to please everyone, you might develop paranoia about her spending time with you just because she feels obligated and guilty. But worst of all are those moments when you can confidently declare that your girlfriend is going out with you just to kill time until her boyfriend finishes his business and can meet her. Agree, sometimes you feel so much better when your girlfriend is just busy, and therefore has ignored your phone calls, than when you are the "window" for lunch in her busy work-love schedule. You shouldn't insult a close friendship with a half-hour lunch during your lunch break. They are only for not too close friends of your family and colleagues from school or work with whom you don't socialize.
Let her go
It can be painful, but sometimes you just have to accept the fact that your LP is so caught up in a new romance that it might not be worth it to be friends with her. If she has repeatedly forgotten about your meetings and even in everyday dialogue she is only focused on her relationship and never cares about you and the events in your life, maybe it's time to dot all the i's and go our separate ways in life.