And now you suspect that in a week or two your relationship will expire. Can love be saved? and how do you get over a breakup if it's inevitable??
Disturbing Calls
It is extremely rare to hear the words "Let's break up" in the middle of a cloudless relationship built on flowers, confessions and kisses. The boy needs time to decide on the phrase The End in your affair. And while he's wondering whether or not to leave..?", he's showing alarming symptoms in his behavior.
If at least two items on this list – from your story, then all is not quiet in the kingdom. Think hard if he…
- Avoiding meetings. It's harder to catch the one you love than a seasoned spy: The caller is unavailable 24 hours a day, both offline and online. Probably some difficulties have come over the boy's head, and he wants to cope with them in solitude. In that case, you should patiently wait for the aggravation to pass. But if it's obvious that the guy is happy (especially when you're not around), beware.
- Doesn't discuss important plans. You enjoy moving ahead along a well-defined route – you are constantly discussing with the boy your creative projects, vacation schedules, and other issues that are significant to you. You're hoping for the reciprocity you've grown accustomed to, but… The boyfriend doesn't let you in on his plans. Boyfriend hasn't blurted out thinking about "tomorrow," but seems hesitant about whether there's room for you in his way forward.
- Getting annoyed with the little things. It is unknown, what influenced you from a "nice girl" into a "silly child", and your actions are now called "antics" and are subjected to a barrage of criticism. Maybe this is the boy's way of hinting that he's ready to vacate the position of ideal – calm, understanding and caring – boyfriend?
- Spends too much time with other girls. Talking to anyone is not, in and of itself, on the list of forbidden activities and red flags. It becomes very exciting when the boy has no time for you at all because of meetings with his girlfriends. Your jealousy will only make him want to leave the relationship faster, so don't get jealous right away and try to figure out why he's more interested in other people. "Then maybe you'll be able to right the wrongs in time to save your feelings.
- Doesn't take the initiative. You call him, you ask him out, you surprise him. And if you don't remind your boy of your existence, your silence can last for weeks. He's so spoiled by a girl's attention? Or hopes that soon you'll get tired of the one-way game and leave on your own?
- Misses you by your side. Your pastime together has become like Groundhog Day: you watch TV, take a silent walk, or sit each at his or her own laptop. Whether you've exhausted your interest in each other (isn't it too quick?), or if you're together by mistake – and you're afraid to admit it.
Backwards
Your romance is on the verge of disappearing: the guy has already tried to explain to you that it's over between you, but you pretended not to understand him. Tears now are a waste of valuable time. Before the boy leaves you with his slippers and his toothbrush, you've got a chance to change things. But first, be honest: do you want it?? Is there anything to return, other than wounded pride?? Maybe you wanted to arrange a ceremony of goodbye, and the boy was ahead of the game, and you're just hurt? Or is he really incredibly beautiful, and you fit together like egg whites and yolk?
If you're sure it's only in the "together" state that a better future awaits you, try this:
- Figure out the reasons for the breakup first. You have a complicated personality? ♪ You've been making a scene ♪? You flirted mercilessly with others? Fix what you can yourself. And if you're at a loss for ideas, try to get an outsider's perspective – your girlfriend can probably tell you what could have gone wrong.
- If you're still together rather than broken up, suggest the guy take a break. ♪ And disappear, no phone calls, no texts, no "casual" meetings ♪. If you occasionally have to bump into each other (if you study together or keep company), pretend he's become an "old acquaintance" to you. Don't let yourself cry and beg to come back. Three weeks is enough time for a boy to long for you, if there are feelings left.
- Try to change. Hair style, clothing style, social circle, hobbies – update what tired you yourself. That's how the boy will take your breath away when he runs into you after a pause in communication.
- Disappear without warning. If he makes contact, don't say yes to everything he says. Make him nervous for a little while. Proved: fear of losing someone is the best stimulant for falling in love.
- If you try to start over, don't infringe on the boy's freedom. Don't demand urgent confessions, rejection of friendship parties, and an account of what's been going on in your absence. So he'll realize that you're not trying to squeeze him in too tight, and he'll start to hold on to you.
- Become a source of positivity. Since the boy once left you, there must have been a lot of tension between you. Make it easy and fun for the guy to be with you now.
- Support his causes. If your boyfriend has a collection of crazy ideas and plans, try to share at least some of them. Let him feel that with you you can skydive and conquer Europe on bikes.
Don't need your cambeeks
In some situations, the usual miracle is impossible: No matter how hard you try, you will not be together. There's no point in getting him back if you…
- he's happy with someone else. Of course, you can wait until the boy's new romance has complications and he thinks of you. But such dreams are like a soap opera. How many years you'll waste on a ghostly hope? Isn't it better to be loved here and now with a new, equally handsome prince??
- There were no feelings on his part. And he honestly told you that. After a loveless romance, you'd better give yourself a chance to know the difference – wait until you meet a boy who sees you as the girl of your dreams.
- A violent story happened. Here's the short and sweet way: if a guy has ever laid hands on you (or you've seen/know about similar episodes with another girl), rejoice in your breakup as a gift. Even if you get him back for a short time, then you'll run away on your own, either in an ambulance or on crutches. ¶¶ You don't joke about these stories and boys ¶¶.
- cheating took place. If you could not forgive each other immediately and sincerely, then this unpleasant episode will always stand between you like a Chinese wall. Jealousy, suspicion and mistrust will corrode your romance anyway.
A new era
Ending a relationship is like going through a tsunami or an earthquake. It seems that you'll never be the same, that you won't be able to believe, love and rejoice… Remember what to do when something seems? Think of how all girls go through the end one day, and all end up with the best boys! For the sake of that happiness, as you know, it's worth a little patience now.
So that your worries don't last forever, do the following exercises.
- Carefully get rid of thoughts of breaking up. Isn't it just a memory that's settled in your head?? Where's the place for girlfriends, hobbies, studies, plans for the future?? Right now your doctors are time, companionship, and a busy schedule.
- Renounce inadequate self-criticism. You probably want to write off the failure of your affair to your long nose or a weighty ass. But when it first started, you were the pretty one in the guy's eyes. And you still are. If there's something about you that doesn't suit you, improve yourself – fitness classes, make-up lessons and our fashion notes are at your service.
- Imagine that you initiated the breakup. The idea that you yourself have left an unworthy candidate has a therapeutic effect. And to convince yourself that you did everything right, make a list of his shortcomings. Wow what a long list – you still need such an imperfect boy?!
- Find five positives about the fact that you're no longer a couple. You can now wear your favorite oxfords instead of his favorite platforms, are freed from watching violent and pointless action movies, and don't have to make excuses for dancing with three guys at the same party!
- Write your ex-boyfriend a letter. Don't be shy with words. And promise you'll be even happier with a new boyfriend. If you get the urge, compose an answer from your ex-boyfriend. Let this fictional letter contain all the words you want to hear him say goodbye. Make ships out of your writing and send them down the river 🙂
- Turn the experience into art. Write stories, make collages, make short films. Suddenly your love failure is an event planned as part of your destiny, and through it you will discover a new talent and become a superstar?
- Look at your novel from the outside, like a movie. Make yourself comfortable in an imaginary movie theater, grab some popcorn and a Coke, and watch the story of a girl who looks like you and a boy who looks like your ex-boyfriend unfold. Don't miss a single scene. And at the end, imagine you're rewinding that movie back. Repeat the rewind a few times, noticing how the frames get paler and paler.
- ♪ Clean up the Internet and the apartment ♪. Hide photos and gifts, hide his news on social networks, don't go to places you used to love to hang out. Of course, the memory of your affair you have common friends. If you care about them outside the context of an ended relationship, date them separately. And if these people don't mean much to you, take time out with them. A new life has begun – you must be surrounded by new things, new places, new events and new people. So the boy with whom you'll be truly happy will appear very soon.
It's time for you to leave if:
- He's out of money for flowers and time for surprises. ♪ But there's always money and free hours for friends ♪.
- Your problems don't make him ask "how are you??"
- He's got a lot of secrets-you don't know where he spends his time, who he talks to on the phone, what his plans are.
- The usual response to your texts and calls has become silence or the phrase "Sorry – I'm busy.".
- You wait a long time for his appearance on a date, unless, of course, he had time to cancel it the moment you were admiring your reflection before leaving the house.
- If something goes wrong, miraculously it turns out that you and you alone are always to blame for all the screw-ups.
- Your desires and tastes look more and more like parallel lines every day.
Don't need your cambecs
In some situations, an ordinary miracle is impossible: no matter how hard you try, you'll never be together. There is no point in getting it back if…
- He's happy with someone else. Of course, you can wait until the boy in your new affair has complications and thinks of you. But that kind of dream is like a soap opera. How many years you'll waste on a ghostly hope? Isn't it better to be loved here and now with a new, equally beautiful prince??
- There were no feelings on his part. And he's honestly told you that. After a loveless romance it's better to give yourself a chance to feel the difference – wait until you meet a boy who sees in you the girl of your dreams.
- An abusive story happened. It's short and simple: if a guy has ever laid hands on you (or you've seen/know about similar episodes with another girl), rejoice in your breakup as a gift. Even if you get him back for a short time, then you'll run away on your own – either in an ambulance or on crutches. These stories and boys are not to be trifled with.
- there's been an affair. If you could not forgive each other immediately and sincerely, this unpleasant episode will always stand between you like a Chinese wall. But jealousy, suspicion, and mistrust will corrode your romance anyway.
A new era
Ending a relationship is like surviving a tsunami or an earthquake. It seems like you'll never be the same again, you can't believe, love, rejoice… Remember what to do when something seems? Think about the fact that all girls go through the end one day – and all end up finding better boys! For that kind of happiness, you know it's worth a little patience now.
So that your worries do not last forever, do the following exercises.
- You have to be diligent about getting rid of thoughts of breaking up. ¶¶ Isn't it just memories in your head ¶¶? Where's the place for girlfriends, hobbies, studies, plans for the future?? Now your doctors are time, fellowship, and a busy schedule.
- Give up on inadequate self-criticism. You're probably tempted to blame the failure of your affair on your long nose or your weighty butt. But when it all began, you were beautiful in a guy's eyes. That's who you've stayed. If something about yourself does not suit you, try to improve yourself – fitness, makeup lessons and our fashion notes at your service.
- Imagine that the initiator of the breakup was you. The idea that you yourself left an unworthy candidate has a therapeutic effect. And to convince yourself that you've done everything right, make a list of his faults. Wow, that's a long list – you still need an imperfect boy like that?!
- Find five good things about not being a couple anymore. You can now wear your favorite oxfords instead of his favorite platforms, freed from watching violent and pointless action movies, and not have to make excuses for dancing with three guys at the same party!
- ¶ Write your ex-boyfriend a letter ¶. Don't be shy with your words. And promise you'll be even happier with a new boyfriend. If you feel like it, make up a response from your ex-boyfriend. Let this fictional letter contain all those words you want to hear from him when he says goodbye. Make ships out of your writing and send them down the river 🙂
- Turn your feelings into art. Write stories, make collages, make short films. Suddenly your love failure is an event planned within your destiny, and thanks to it, you will discover a new talent and become a superstar?
- Look at your romance from the outside, like in a movie. Make yourself comfortable in your imaginary movie theater, grab some popcorn and a Coke, and watch the story of a girl who looks like you and a boy who looks like your ex-boyfriend unfold. Don't miss a scene. And at the end, pretend you're rewinding this movie. Repeat the rewind a few times, watching the frames get paler and paler.
- Clean up the Internet and the apartment. Hide photos and gifts, hide his news on social networks, don't go to the places you liked to go together. Of course, as a memento of your affair, you have common friends. If you care about them outside the context of an ended relationship, then date them separately. And if these people don't mean much to you, take time out with them. A new life has begun – you should be surrounded by new things, new places, new events and new people. So the boy you'll be really happy with will be here soon.
It's time for you to go if:
- He's out of money for flowers and time for surprises. But you always have money and free hours for your friends.
- Your problems don't make him ask "how are you??"
- He's got a lot of secrets-you don't know where he spends his time, who he talks to on the phone, what his plans are.
- The usual response to your text messages and calls was silence or the phrase "Sorry – I'm busy.
- You are waiting a long time for his appearance on a date, unless, of course, he had time to cancel it the moment you were admiring your reflection before leaving the house.
- If something goes wrong, miraculously it turns out that you and only you are always to blame for all the screw-ups.
- Your desires and tastes look more and more like parallel lines every day.