A Love Investigation
Stories about unrequited love come in many forms.
♪ An unknown personality ♪
Maybe you think your happiness is a guy who… Doesn’t even know your name. You’re in the same grade, but you never socialize at a school disco. You work for the same company, but you don’t even say hello in the hallway. Or you live in adjoining entrances, but when you walk your dogs together, you don’t even exchange smiles. Or you see each other only in your dreams because he’s not even a real person, but a guy from a TV series you watch before you go to sleep.
You probably know each other after all. Sometimes he asks you what’s going on with your mood, swaps books with you, and chats about mutual acquaintances over Skype. But still a lot more time he spends … With his girlfriend.
Another option: you go to the movies together, alternating between your movies and his, riding skateboards together and chatting on Vkontakte until morning. Several times you’ve made nice surprises for him – drawing little people you’ve made up on T-shirts, sending postcards from other cities, and buying strings for his guitar. More than once, you even dared to be especially frank: saying that it is more interesting to skateboard by hand, put his head on his shoulder, and wrote “kisses, kisses in text messages. But all of your actions remained unnoticed – despite the fact that he is lonely and sometimes dreams aloud about a girl.
Going back in time
And maybe you even had something with him, but… Gone. You’ve been dating for a month, two months, six months, whatever. You were very good together – at least you thought you were the happiest couple in town. Except that for some reason he didn’t think so – and one day he offered to have a serious talk, explained that you were too different, and assured you that he would very much like to be friends with you. All of these stories have one thing in common: you think that you love him very much and are ready to rush after him to all possible corners of the world and at least tomorrow you will give him your kingdom and yourself in addition. Except there’s no answer to your very attractive offer.
Why you’re so unlucky?
In fact, unrequited love is… Not love at all. This is just the result, most likely, of a subconscious decision not to be mutually in love. The reasons for such a strange coincidence can be very different.
First of all, you probably don’t believe in mutual love.
Yes, you’ve read about this mythical sentiment in cute novels and seen the endearing stories in movies, but in real life you’re increasingly exposed to negative examples. Parents, though very much in love ten years ago, divorced. Girlfriends break up with boyfriends one by one. And here it’s hard to argue with you, but … Remember, as a child, how your relationship with Santa Claus evolved? As long as you believed in him, he came to you. As soon as you started listening to your disappointed girlfriends and stopped expecting miracles, the fairy tale hero stopped appearing. It’s about the same thing with love: if you don’t believe in it, it doesn’t happen to you.
Secondly, maybe, You’re really afraid of a serious, authentic relationship, or you’re just not ready for one.
Subconsciously you understand: In addition to candy and bouquets, love is a responsibility for the words and deeds, it is attention and warmth, which should always be divided by 2, a constant search for compromise, this need to learn that you are not particularly attractive, and many other difficult moments. Falling in love without prospects, you’re just avoiding it all. But you also deprive yourself of many other things.
Third, there’s a third thing that happens: there’s a chance that You don’t think you’re worthy of personal happiness.
Surely the hackneyed truth “love yourself and others will love you” bounces off your teeth, but you treat it as a meaningless truism – that is, you don’t accept it as a rule. You think you’re not beautiful enough or clever enough. And in this case, you should think about how to overcome insecurity.
Fourth, maybe if you take everything apart you’ll find that you… Like to be unrequited in love.
For you all those sparkles in your eyes, electric smiles, butterflies in your stomach, texting and lingering waiting is like a drug. As soon as you realize that the boy who was your dream yesterday, suddenly brings you a kilo of strawberries and faithfully and silently looks into your eyes, you lose all interest in him. And you go looking for another, more complicated feeling. If love is a sport to you, what are you so surprised about??..
To dissolve the reasons that keep you from finding reciprocal love, do this.
Find a goal that is not related to your personal life
Often things don’t work out for girls who are fixated on boys. It’s unlikely you suffer from this, but even permanent thoughts of loneliness are akin to this affliction – they can also tie you down and keep you away from happiness. You shouldn’t strive for a boyfriend, but for being a better person – more interesting, brighter…
Try to evolve
do a deep study of yourself, find out what you don’t like about yourself and try to get rid of it. Annoyed by the two extra folds on your stomach? Find a set of exercises for the abs on the Internet. You seem to know less about movies than all your friends? Make a selection of movies you’ve wanted to watch for a long time, and prescribe yourself one a day. As you become more interesting to yourself, you’ll become more interesting to others.
Find a new hobby
Start taking pictures on the film, signed up for a driving course, try to stand on a wake, do an audit in Mom’s closet – and find things that can give a second life – well, there’s little you can think of! The richer your life, the less time you’ll have to think about your loneliness and the more new friends you’ll make, and then … 🙂
Expand your circle of acquaintances
If you go down the list and start with just the first item, people will reach out to you on their own. But do not limit yourself to them: even among those who do not share your interests, you may meet very interesting heroes of your future happy affairs. Always be happy to meet friends of friends – and you’ll face a new problem: how to choose between two reciprocal romances 🙂
Reconsider your attitude-about relationships, about yourself, about boys
Both you and those around you are not factory-made to order. If you don’t ask for the impossible, and you want to get better every day, your relationships with people will get better. You’re not kidding, you’re on your way to an unbelievably great, happily ever after, and most importantly, mutually loving relationship. You just have to hold it out.
Subconsciously you understand that in addition to candy and bouquets, love is also a responsibility for your words and deeds.
You’re in the mood for love
Unhappy love, love-torture, love-test – these phrases were invented by people who do not understand anything about love. Love is only and always a positive and creative feeling. It teaches you to fly, helps you create and perfects your soul. It makes you want to wake up earlier, look better, have more time and cope with everything. And also, if we’re honest, love makes babies. Can it all go together with the word “unhappy”?? 🙂